A Kiss Before Dying
by lv63
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise. A promise that he will keep many times over the years. This is a DoVe fic. Rated M in later chapters!
1. Chapter 1

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (1/10)  
Rating: R for language in this chapter  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise. Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, (mentions of Lilly/Logan, Duncan, Keith and a few others)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 3988  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars, the movie or book "Little Women", Christian Bale or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: I got the idea for this while watching Little Woman for like the millionth time. In one scene in particular the relationship between Amy and Laurie just seemed like it could translate to Veronica and Lamb. Pre-Lilly's death Veronica always seemed to be on the romantic and naïve side (which is very Amy-esque) so I could see her having feelings such as this. There is also a very strong overtone of death throughout the VM series and chapters from this story will focus on interactions between Lamb and Veronica in regards to these moments.

* * *

I wasn't expecting visitors. So when the first knock sounded on my door, I was slightly confused.

I got up from the comfort of my couch and silently went over the possible suspects capable of intruding on my quiet Friday night on my way to the door.

Keith and Lianne were out of town for a couple of weeks, Lianne was getting some 'help,' so it couldn't be Keith. Sacks, was working the night shift, so that counted him out. And Veronica was staying with the Kane's while her parents were gone, so it most likely wasn't her either.

The thought of the latter suspect bothered me a little. I'd been slightly hurt when Keith informed me that my guard duties wouldn't be needed this time around. I'd been her trusted caretaker for the previous 5 years after all, but I understood the reasons. She was 15 now and it wasn't appropriate for her to be staying alone with a man 10 years older than her and not related to her. Though when Keith had told me of their decision, I'd gotten the feeling that it was more an issue for Lianne than for Keith himself. But it still bugged me, I loved my time with Veronica and the prospect of two full Veronica filled weeks was something I'd give my right…um, **eye** for.

And that right there, as much as it killed me to admit it, was the A number 1 reason that it was probably a good thing that Keith chose the Kane's over me. I don't think they knew, but it didn't matter, the truth was that when it came to Veronica Mars, my self control seemed to be waning.

I'd always adored the kid, from the day I met her she'd had me wrapped around her little finger and I wasn't complaining. Who would? And everything was fine for a few years; we became friends, an unlikely friendship with a vast age difference but friends no less. But over time things often change and change they did. I swear it was like a switch was flipped the minute the girl hit puberty. In a matter of months she went from my cute little blonde buddy to a beautiful young blue eyed woman that had me counting down the days to her 18th birthday. And yes I'm aware of how wrong that was, but I never acted on it. As much as it pained me, I was more than willing to wait, and wait I would.

When I finally reached the door I couldn't hide my excitement to see the very subject of my thoughts standing there smiling at me in her usual mischievous manner.

"Mars, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

She smiled at me and tilted her head in that patented Veronica Mars fashion, which was always my cue to prepare myself to be thoroughly snowed; saying no to her was not an option. "Hi Deputy! Um, wanna watch a movie?"

Her smile turned into a cheesy grin and I laughed as I stepped aside and waved her inside. "Always."

She skipped right past me and over to the couch where she promptly grabbed the remote, propped her feet up on the coffee table and acted like she owned the place. I knew it should feel strange but it didn't and that in and of itself was strange enough. But when it came to Veronica, nothing was ever normal and that was just the way I liked it.

I sat down next to her on the couch and looked at her. Something was up, I could tell, but she obviously wasn't going to offer the info so I probed a little hoping to get some insight. "So, I was under the impression that you were living the wild life with Miss Kane and your band of Merry Men this weekend, what changed?"

She flinched a little at my mention of Duncan and Logan which caught my attention immediately, there was definitely something going on there. But she didn't give anything away as she smiled and responded. "What can I say? I got a little tired of the constant excitement at Casa de Kane. Needed a breather so I came over here, they probably don't even know I'm gone."

I put my hand on her shoulder in an awkward friendly gesture that she smirked at and then something occurred to me. She was **only 15, **so if they didn't know she was at my house, and I didn't pick her up, how the fuck did she **get** to my house? "Um Veronica?"

She chuckled anticipating the next words out of my mouth. "I drove."

I could actually feel the early stages of a heart attack happening, I knew she would have been better off with me than staying at the Kane's. But I pushed my feelings aside, if she was desperate enough to drive without a license to get to my house she really needed to get away. "Just please tell me you drove a car with permission and that you didn't hotwire one." She more than had the skills capable of doing that after all.

"Of course not, I **borrowed** one."

I inwardly groaned. Great. "Please tell me you're kidding."

She laughed outright then and no matter how many times I heard it, it was still one of the most beautiful sounds I'd ever heard. "Of course joking Deputy, I had Logan's driver bring me over here." She went to stand up a little as she finished. "I can call and have him take me back if you prefer."

"No!" Ok, so it was probably a little bit of an overreaction to the comment, but she was there and I didn't want her to leave. I couldn't have her the way I wanted yet, but having her in any capacity was better than not having her at all.

She sat back down smiling due to her victory and I leaned back against the couch. "So what are we…..?" Before I could even finish asking her what we were going to watch she was pulling a DVD out of her bag, handing it to me and within seconds I was cringing. "Little Women?" You've got to be fucking kidding me. I looked to her in disbelief and she just shrugged. "Not your usual genre Goldilocks. What's with the wartime chick flick?"

Her face turned a little red as she admitted her reasoning to me. "Well, there's a possibility that I have a book report on "Little Women" due on Monday, and there is another distinct possibility that I didn't actually **read** the book."

Well color me surprised. Veronica Mars behind on her school work? Hmm, guess there is a first time for everything. But since she didn't read it and it was due in 2 days, she didn't have much choice and of course with me being the trusty friend and confidant, it was my duty to watch it with her.

It may not have been my style of movie, or hers, but we both took one for the Mars Education Team and settled in to watch the movie. It actually wasn't as bad as I'd expected it would be, but it was starting to make my sensitive side poke through and I was not gonna have it. I needed to keep my masculine façade up or face ridicule from the Mars child until the end of time. Besides, there would be plenty of chances for me to show her my sensitive side when she was older.

I was lost in thought and had stopped paying attention when her little angelic voice broke through my daydreams. "I'm never going to be kissed."

Ok, so I'm fairly certain that that one comment nearly caused me to have a massive coronary. First of all, she was 15 and shouldn't even be thinking about that...ok, so maybe she **should**, but I didn't **want** her to think about that. Second, I didn't even want to entertain the thought of her **ever** kissing someone. As far as I was concerned no man would ever touch her ever, no boy either, Veronica Mars was strictly off limits to anyone possessing a certain part of anatomy. (Well until she was 18, but that's a whole other issue because **I** didn't count in that 'no man will touch' category, at least in my mind.) But third and definitely the most disturbing, was the fact that the minute she said it; the only thing I wanted to do was kiss her myself. And fuck! How the hell was I supposed to keep myself from acting out my inappropriate fantasies when all I had going through my mind was visions of her lips pressed against mine?

And on top of all of that, I was surprised, how was it possible that this breathtaking creature had yet to experience her first kiss? Guys should be lining up around the corner for her, I didn't want them to, but they should've been. Ugh, it was gonna be a long night.

I guess I must have sat there for too long in shock because when I finally turned to reply she was staring at me with an evil little smirk on her face. "You ok Donnie?"

I laughed a little and ran my hand through my hair. "Yeah, fine. Where did that come from?"

She replayed the previous scene in the movie and I understood. Amy had just been sent to stay with Aunt March because Beth was sick, Laurie took her and Amy told him she was afraid she would die without ever being kissed. Yeah, that explained a lot.

I grabbed the remote, paused the movie and turned to look at her. "Veronica, why do you think you will never be kissed?"

She turned away a little with a slight blush covering her cheeks. "I don't know."

I lightly touched her face and turned it back so she was looking at me. I couldn't take it anymore, I knew there was something wrong the minute she'd shown up and I was gonna find out if I had to torture it out of her. "No, you **do** know, you just don't want to tell me. But I want to know Veronica. Is there something wrong?"

She smiled but I could tell it was forced and then she tilted her face against my hand. I felt a shiver go down my spine and once again I wanted to kiss her but I ignored it, it's not like I had any other choice. And then she finally told me why. "Why would anyone want to kiss me when they could have Lilly?"

Fucking shit, should have seen that one coming from a mile away.

* * *

When he let me in I didn't waste any time making myself at home. I never did, as far as I was concerned, Don Lamb's house, was my house and if I'm being honest, I'd always kind of hoped that someday, it really would be. Yes it's true, for years I Veronica Mars had had a super sized crush on Don Lamb. If I was still 12 years old and he'd been the centerfold in that month's Tiger Beat it would have been prominently placed right above my bed. Yes, it was that bad.

But he didn't know that, actually no one did. Lilly might have had a clue but she never called me on it and I was fine with that. It was my own personal dirty little secret and I was more than willing to keep it that way. I mean it's not like I would ever actually have a chance with him, he was 10 years older than me and probably had his pick of girls his own age. His boss's 15 year old daughter probably wasn't even a blip on his radar. So I secretly pined for him. It was kind of my thing anyways., all I ever did was pine because I never got the guy. No, that was Lilly's thing. Veronica Mars didn't exist when Lilly Kane was around.

As far as the movie choice goes, it's not that I didn't do my homework, I actually just forgot about it and there was a lot going on in my life. Yeah, sometimes 15 year olds have issues too ya know. My mom had problems as you already know and well, my personal life was in the process of taking a turn for the worse. I just needed to watch the movie, write the report and then we could focus on some Don/Veronica time. Which was exactly what I needed and wanted.

I didn't expect for the movie to bug me the way it did and that one scene just really kind of threw me. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them and I freaked out a little inside when I realized it. Of course when I looked over at him and saw the pained look on his face I almost couldn't stop myself from laughing and I felt a million times better about my little slip of the tongue.

I didn't know what he was thinking but it obviously wasn't good or appropriate and that just made me even more curious, and excited for that matter. When he looked at me finally, I asked if he was ok and he said yes before asking why I'd said what I'd said. I wasn't exactly hoping he wouldn't ask, but I wasn't so sure I really wanted to tell him what was going on. I knew he could tell that all was not well in Veronicaland, but I also knew he wouldn't pry unless given an opportunity and unfortunately, that's exactly what I'd just given him. So I replayed the scene for him. He seemed to understand and I hoped he'd leave it alone but of course he didn't. He asked me why and I blushed telling him I didn't know and hoping that he would let it go but of course, no such luck.

When his hand touched my face I felt a surge of warmth through my body that I'd never experienced before and I moved into his touch. He got a strange look on his face that made me wonder if he felt the same thing I did but I ignored it, citing wishful thinking. And then I let it out.

It's not like I wasn't used to Lilly being the center of attention and I'd never admit it to her or anyone, except apparently my favorite Deputy, but it got old sometimes. Especially when it ruined things for me.

It had taken me a few years to admit it but I had a fully fledged crush on Logan, one that **almost** rivaled the one I had on Don Lamb. Logan was cute and sweet and a really great friend, but I found myself wanting more. Unfortunately, I didn't know that Lilly had set her sights on him as well. I don't want to accuse anyone but I was pretty sure she knew how I felt about him. Apparently, it just didn't seem to matter to her.

Once I made the comment about Lilly Don's eyes grew wide and he got that protective look I loved so much. "What the fuck did she do now?" And that right there was the reason I came to him, no matter what, Don Lamb always took my side.

So I took a deep breath, let it out, and told him everything, or at least most of it.

Earlier that night the four of us, Logan, Lilly, Duncan and I were out by the pool just relaxing and having fun as usual. It was supposed to be just the four of us but around 6PM Dick and Beaver showed up, followed by Shelley, Enbom and about 50 others 15 minutes later. By 8PM it was an all out 09'er party and Lilly had found a chance to make her move, pulling Logan into her bedroom to stake her claim. I was the only one to notice that they were gone and I went to look for them. I heard the moans first, it made my heart hurt and when I looked through the small opening in the doorway the split second of a sneak peak I got was enough to officially ruin my night and send me running for the door, dangerously close to bursting out in tears.

When I got out of the house Logan's limo was pulling up the drive and I went straight for it, the driver was there to pick Logan up on his parents orders, but he took one look at me and ushered me into the back. He drove me around for a few minutes until I regained my composure and then asked me where I wanted to go. Without even hesitating I gave him Don's address, he was the only person I wanted to see at that moment.

It was a crappy ride the whole way; I was single, alone and had never been kissed. I felt like Drew Barrymore, definitely not a fun night. But seeing Don smile when he opened the door to find me there really turned my night around.

As I told him what had happened he looked relieved, angry, sad and concerned all at the same time. He didn't say anything for the longest time and I began to get really nervous thinking I'd just totally embarrassed myself and then he smiled at me and shook his head. "Why would anyone want her when they could have you?"

And oh, if that didn't just melt my 15 year old heart.

* * *

It didn't surprise me one bit, not a single word of it.

I'd known for awhile that Veronica had a crush on the Echolls boy, I didn't like it, but I knew none the less. And in truth, I was jealous as hell. Until he came along all her attention was focused on me, I was her first crush and I didn't want to share her. Even if I wouldn't…**couldn't** act on my feelings, that didn't mean I wanted someone else to act on theirs where she was concerned. But that night, having her in my home, her trusting me with what was one of her biggest embarrassments and having felt her skin against mine, my resolve was slipping. Fuck, it was not good. 10 years difference and I couldn't have cared less. I wanted her and at that moment I wasn't sure how I was going to make it another 3 hours, much less 3 more years.

But I took a deep breath, reined in my self control, smiled at her and told her the truth. "Why would anyone want her when they could have you? You're better than she could ever be and any guy who chooses her over you will live to regret giving up the best thing he ever could have had."

Her face lit up with my words and I had to hold myself back from giving her that first kiss that she so desperately wanted. Instead of answering me she moved and leaned against me, in response I placed my arm around her holding her tight to my side before starting the movie again. I thought it was over; we'd gotten past the awkward conversation and the moment of near insanity on my part. She felt better and I could just enjoy her being next to me.

I didn't expect a part two. "But what if no one ever realizes it? What if no one ever wants me? What if I die before ever being kissed?" Way to be dramatic Veronica, she really could have succeeded with a career in the performing arts.

The fucking stupid movie was ruining my quiet night with my favorite Mars offspring, my favorite **15 year old** Mars offspring I reminded myself. I sighed, ran my hand up and down her arm and my mouth opened before my brain could tell it to stop and I found myself channeling a 100 year old literary character and Christian Bale. "Veronica, I promise you that someday someone will kiss you. And if they do or don't, I promise that **I** will kiss you before you die."

I felt her stiffen and I chastised myself immediately. I was literally envisioning Keith showing up on my doorstep with a shot gun and blowing off my dick for even suggesting the fact that someday my lips might touch hers. But she loosened up almost as fast as she had stiffened and moved away from me a little. I looked straight at her and saw something in her eyes that scared the crap out of me; she wanted me, just as much as I wanted her.

Her voice was near a whisper when she spoke. "Do you mean that?"

I leaned toward her and about died when the next words out of my mouth were thoroughly laced with arousal. "Yes, more than anything."

I was officially done. In that moment I was more than willing to give up my right to live for just one perfect moment with her on my couch, the two of us joined in one of her life's most prominent firsts. So I continued to lean in, my eyes glued to her perfect pink lips.

I was right there, my hand in her hair, my thumb caressing the smooth skin of her neck and I could feel her sweet breath on my face. I was so fucking close to my own personal Mecca that I couldn't believe it.

We were less than an inch apart when the front door to my apartment flew open and my heart literally jumped from my chest as I removed myself from her personal space.

I turned around to see Lilly Kane standing in the doorway. If she knew what she'd interrupted she wasn't letting on, but I was pretty sure she didn't since Miss Kane was not one to keep her mouth or other things shut. As she yanked Veronica towards the door exclaiming that she had been worried sick, but should have known she'd find her at my house, Veronica looked back at me.

I saw longing in her eyes and I knew mine showed the same. But I didn't stop her from going, she was too young and it wouldn't have been right and I was too afraid that if I kissed her I wouldn't be able to stop. But I also didn't stop her because I knew that someday we'd get there again. I knew we would. Someday we would have that kiss and there wouldn't be anyone there to interrupt us.

Only 2 years, 340 days, 1 hour, 13 minutes and 47 seconds to go.

to be continued...

* * *

Thank you for reading! Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (2/10)  
Rating: R for language and content  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise. Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, (mentions of Lilly, Logan, Duncan, Keith and Lianne)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 3604  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: The Veronica Mars series has a strong overtone of death throughout. This story deals with the interactions between Veronica and Lamb, after some of the more prominent death related moments. There will be some changes to both timeline and canon events in this fic.

A/N 2: since they don't really ever say it, Veronica's b-day is August 14th in regards to this fic. Any dates that I change or decide on will be mentioned in A/Ns or the fic itself.

And on a personal note, I'm really very happy with the way this chapter came out, I think it may be one of my favorite chapters I have ever written for any of my fics. I hope you like it!

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED AND ALERTED THIS FIC!

* * *

1 year, 1 month, 6 days, 5 hours, 18 minutes and 12 seconds later

* * *

October 4th 2003 4:05AM

Sometimes in life you see things that you know will haunt you until the end of your days.

Last night, for some, it was probably the sight of 17 year old Lilly Kane lying dead by the pool, the blank stare in her eyes and the future that she would never have.

For me, it was the look on the face of Lilly Kane's best friend.

I wished more than anything that I could have stopped Veronica from seeing Lilly like that. But I couldn't and I didn't. I hadn't seen her run past me, I was always hyper aware of her presence and the one time that it would have been beneficial to her, my awareness failed me. I should have seen her, I should have grabbed her and shielded her, but I didn't, and that's something I will have to live with.

But it was the look on her face that truly did me in, pain, anguish and disbelief all coiled into one. If I could have pulled her to me in that moment I would have. I wanted to, but I couldn't, Keith got to her before I could and refused to let her go and I had to stand there and watch as he led his devastated daughter from the crime scene to his car with tears streaming from her eyes.

He left me to supervise as he took her home and as hard as I tried to focus on my job, the only thing my mind seemed to have on it was Veronica Mars, as always.

Keith returned a few hours later, his eyes red, and it hurt to see such a strong man, my idol, feel so much pain. He finally sent me home around 3AM and I drove the entire way in a daze, Veronica's face still haunting my memories from earlier that night.

When I got home I didn't waste any time undressing and getting into the shower, trying to wash away a tragedy that I knew would stick with me forever. When I got out of the shower I pulled on a pair of sweats, went out to my living room and sat on the couch. There was no point in sleeping; I knew I wouldn't get any, so why waste time?

I couldn't get Veronica off my mind. I wondered what she was doing. Was she still crying? Was she sleeping soundly? Or was she tossing and turning from the nightmare of the night? I'd have given anything to be with her in that moment.

I'd been sitting there staring ahead for, well I don't really know how long, when I heard the knock on the door. I jumped from my couch and ran to answer it, I knew who it was; there was only one person that would show up at my house this time of night, on this **kind** of a night.

I threw open the door to find her standing there, eyes redder than her father's had been, face pale from shock, hair a mess and pajamas showing none of the disarray that a night of sleep would have left. She looked up at me and when I looked in to her eyes I could feel everything that she was feeling. It was something I'd never wanted to see in her, loss and hopelessness.

We just stood there for a few seconds, having a nonverbal stand off before she finally opened her mouth and graced me with her beautiful voice, horrifically laced with pain, but beautiful none the less.

"I'm sorry, I know it's late…but I….I didn't know where else to go…..I couldn't sleep….I just…I just need you….I …"

My heart ached with her words and I stopped her, trying to ease the situation. "No, I know, its ok. I'm here; I'm always here for you."

She didn't respond, she just smiled, a real smile, probably the first one she'd had in hours and maybe the last she'd have for awhile.

* * *

How do you deal with losing your best friend?

How do you live with having seen her like that?

I didn't know what to do.

I should have stayed in the car, I should have listened to my dad, but I didn't and I knew that what I saw would haunt me forever.

As my dad held me I could feel another set of eyes on me. I didn't need to look to know who it was, it had to be Lamb, had to be. He was the only other person there that would have wanted to be there for me the way my father was, more than the way my father was, and I knew that's what his stare meant.

The ride home was silent and I cried as my dad drove. I could feel him look at me every few seconds, to make sure I was breathing, or still there, still alive, not dead liked Lilly. I wasn't sure what his reasons were but his reasons didn't matter. He was there, so was I. **We**, were still there.

When he pulled into the driveway he got out of his side and hurried around to open my door for me. I went to step out, just following the normal motions, but he put his arms around me and carried me inside. We passed my mom on the way to my room but I didn't look at her, I knew she'd heard and I just couldn't deal with another person's sad gaze.

My dad laid me on the bed and left the room so I could change, I did so thoughtlessly, I was so distracted that I wasn't even sure what I'd put on and when I was done, I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the wall, the wall with pictures of the now dead, just like Lilly, Fab 4. He came back into the room a little while later with a cup of tea, sat next to me on the bed and we both just stared straight ahead.

We didn't talk, we barely breathed. But he was there and that was good. He was still there, not like Lilly.

He left an hour or two later, didn't tell me where he was going, just left. I didn't ask, didn't need to, I already knew, he was going to take care of Lilly.

After he was gone I pulled me knees up to my chest and just tried to keep breathing. I wished for something, for someone, to comfort me, tell me it was all a bad dream, a nightmare. But I knew it would be a lie.

I kept remembering the look on her face, the blood, the way her body was laying. But more than anything I kept feeling the eyes, the ones that had followed me from the moment my dad took me into his arms, to the moment we left.

I knew what I needed then. It was him. I needed him to take me away from what I was feeling. Give me some life back. Do what he always did to make me feel better, alive, happy.

I needed it more than anything.

So I got up, my legs weak and half asleep from being stuck in one position so long and left my room.

I grabbed my mom's keys from the table and silently left the house. I didn't look at the clock until I got in the car and I actually swore a little.

Would he be there? Was he even home from the Kane's yet? Would he even want me there? Was he hurting too? Was he having the same haunting feelings? It didn't matter I decided.

I arrived at his apartment almost as soon as I started the car, I didn't even remember driving there and it scared me a little. I shouldn't have driven I realized, but I had, there was no changing it and I sure as hell wasn't going home.

I was going to him. He would make me feel better.

When I knocked he opened the door within seconds, almost like he'd been expecting me. Had he? Maybe he had. Sometimes I felt like he knew me better than I knew myself.

He just stared at me for awhile, my face, then my clothes. I looked down for a second and was happy to see that I was wearing something that at least matched. And then our eyes met.

We stayed like that until I could finally form words. But it was so hard to talk, to get out what I was trying to say. I wanted to scream out. 'Tell me it's not true!' 'Tell me I'm dreaming!' 'Hold me, don't let go!' 'Promise me you'll never leave me!'

Because that's what I wanted. For him to hold me, love me, never leave me. I needed him and no one else would do.

"I'm sorry, I know it's late…but I….I didn't know where else to go…..I couldn't sleep….I just…I just need you….I …"

And with just the few words I was able to voice, he responded with everything I needed and wanted to hear. "No, I know, its ok. I'm here; I'm always here for you."

And I smiled, it was amazing that in only a few short hours I could forget what it felt like to smile, but he gave that feeling back to me.

* * *

I pulled her inside closing and locking the door behind us.

The second I turned around she launched herself at me and I just held her as tight as possible.

If I could have unzipped myself and pulled her inside just to have her closer, I would have. We stood there silently wrapped up in each other for the longest time before I heard her breath hitch and could feel her tears against my skin.

I reached down, picked her up in my arms, carried her to my couch and I sat down with her. And that's where I stayed, with tiny Veronica Mars cradled in my arms as she cried.

I kept my mouth shut, no words would help, I knew that, she just needed to be comforted, loved, reassured. If there was one thing in this world I was capable of, it was that and for the first time I really allowed myself to feel the love I had for her, let her feel it too.

I'd been hiding it for so long, from myself, her, everyone else, knowing how wrong it was. I'd stood back and watched her romance with Duncan in a silent, jealous rage. I hated him because he didn't deserve her. But I couldn't change it, I couldn't have her, so there was no sense in lashing out. But right there in that moment, I **could** have her; she'd allow me too, even though I knew that she always would have if I had just let myself take the chance. But I couldn't, she was too young and it wasn't fair to her. But this time, this one night, I had an excuse. I didn't have to wait anymore. I didn't have to pretend. I could be what I wanted to be to her, for her.

I could act as a man that loved the woman he was holding.

I spent the next hour like that, with her curled up in my lap, leaning against my bare chest.

I found myself hating Lilly for doing this to her. And fuck, I know that's a horrible thing to say, but I did. I'd never really been a fan of hers. I thought she was a bad influence on Veronica and that she only did things that benefited her, actions that led to hurt feelings on Veronica's part more than once. And then I had an even worse thought, a much more selfish thought. Logan was single now, well had been for a week or two I'd heard, but now there was no Lilly to go back to. Would he finally claim Veronica as his own? No, it couldn't happen. She was mine. Duncan was out of her life, and I had less than two years to go. She wouldn't go to him now, couldn't. I didn't know if I could compete with him. I was better, but did she know that? I couldn't lose her to him, it wouldn't be fair.

I felt my heart pounding and my brain was screaming at me for being so self-centered. I was holding a girl whose best friend had just been murdered and all I could think about was what it meant to me, not her.

After an eternity of not moving I finally felt her stir a little. Her tiny hand moved up my chest, leaving a trail of goose bumps all the way until it rested on my shoulder. I took a deep breath, willing myself to stay focused and not lose myself in the moment.

I was doing fine, succeeding almost until she looked up at me with her tear streaked face. And once again, just like a moment from so long ago, I felt my resolve slipping, but from the look on her face, I was doing better than she was, because hers, for all intents and purposes, was gone.

We wanted each other, it was obvious, had been to both of us for over a year now, but we'd both ignored it, her with Duncan and me being who I was, at the age I was. Was this the night it would all cease to matter?

I shifted, moving so that my back was against the arm and she was still in my lap leaning against the back of the couch. I moved my arm around her, tracing the curve of her spine through her thin cotton shirt and brought my other hand to her face, wiping the tears away with my thumb. I felt her shudder and my body responded the same way. She moved into my touch, I felt her lips on my palm for a brief second and I inwardly groaned. My body began to react and I willed myself to behave, to not take her right then and there.

But my body was beginning to win over my mind and I moved closer to her, my lips connecting with her forehead first, then trailing downward. I kissed away the tears in my trek down her beautiful face. I reached her jaw and continued leaving soft sensual kisses all along every inch of skin she would allow. Her body arched towards mine and as she clung to me, my grip on her increased. My lips found her slender neck and she moaned. I couldn't control my reaction and I gave in, gasping as I moved to her pulse point. Both of her arms were around me then and I couldn't stop my arousal. I could feel it between us and I knew she could too.

It was the way she moved, the way she breathed. She wanted me, she wanted me to continue. So I did.

I removed my mouth from her soft kissable skin and pulled away so I could see her completely. I looked into her eyes, so filled with sadness only moments ago, but now, they were filled with unadulterated lust and adoration, begging me to make her mine. To claim her as I'd always wanted to.

And I gave in. I gave in to years of wanting and never having. I gave in to the love I felt for her. I gave in to everything she was, ever had been and ever would be.

I kissed her, after the death of her best friend and before her own, hopefully long before her own.

My lips met hers and she gasped against them. I used the advantage to deepen the kiss, my tongue gaining access and as I crushed her to me desperately, she did the same. It was slow and emotional and beyond anything I'd ever imagined.

I felt her move in my lap, her legs on either side of mine, straddling me. I was still so lost in the moment, lost in her, my body had taken over completely. We stayed connected for the longest time barely breaking for air, our bodies almost one.

I throbbed against the restraint of my sweats and she arched into me again. I wanted out; I wanted to be in her, to feel her, to make love to her, to finally have my Veronica Mars.

It wasn't until I felt myself press against her at a near perfect angle that my mind suddenly restarted and I began thinking clearly. I tried to push it away, to continue, but my thoughts wouldn't leave. They kept yelling at me. 'She's 16!" "She's grieving!" "She doesn't know what she wants right now!" "You can't take this from her like this!" "She will regret it!" "**You** will regret it!"

The last one was the only one I didn't agree with, I wouldn't, never could I ever regret having her. But she could and maybe she would. I didn't know, there was no way of knowing and I couldn't risk her hating me for this someday.

So I pulled away.

She looked surprised for a second and when she leaned back in, I held her in place; her body still over mine, our arms still encircling each other, but our lips inches apart.

When I didn't let her claim my lips again the surprise turned to confusion and then slowly towards embarrassment.

I could see the gears in her head turning. God I want to kiss her again so badly, I wanted to continue what we had started, but I held back.

I was staring at her face, her skin flushed with arousal, the beginnings of pleasure that I knew she'd never experienced before when her voice pulled me from my trance. "Did I do something wrong?"

I let out a soft chuckle, fuck, could she be anymore adorable? But I cringed when I saw the hurt in her eyes and I brought my hand back to her face and caressed her cheek. "Oh god, no. No Veronica, you did nothing wrong."

My words and my touch seemed to calm her but the confusion was still there. "But why?"

I moved bringing my forehead against hers and stayed there for a second or two before breaking away. "We can't do this Veronica. It's not right. You're too young and you aren't ready for this. I know you think you are right now, but later you might regret this."

And then the hurt came back, she turned away from me and tears welled up in her eyes. She spoke so softly and sadly it nearly killed me. "You don't want me."

My heart ached; I'd expected that, I knew she'd think it was her. I didn't want her to, but I knew she would. "Baby, are you kidding? Can't you see how badly I want this, you?" I gestured to my obviously aroused body and she blushed slightly. "I want this, you, so much, I always have. But I refuse to take this from you. Not now and not for these reasons or under these circumstances."

She went to argue with me. "But I..."

I stopped her. "I know, but we can't. I will always be here for you and I promise that someday…someday we will have this, you and me. Just not today."

She looked to me with hope in her eyes. "Really?"

I nodded and pulled her closer again. "Have I ever broken a promise to you?" She shook her head and I smiled. "Then you know I mean it. I promised you once that I'd kiss you and I did, didn't I?" She smiled and nodded and I continued. "And I promise you now that this won't be the last time I kiss you."

She closed her eyes and breathed. "Ok."

I kissed her sweet lips one last time, memorizing the feel of them and then I kissed her forehead again as I held her close. I stroked her back as we sat there and eventually felt her breathing steady.

I shifted again to lie down on the couch, her body draped over mine and I ran my fingers through her hair. "I love you, Veronica Mars."

I'd thought she was asleep so I was surprised when I heard her soft reply. "You too, deputy."

My heart swelled, if I'd known she was still awake I wouldn't have said it, but I was glad I had. She needed to hear it and so did I.

As I held the sleeping 16 year old Veronica Mars in my arms for the next few hours I promised myself that I wouldn't screw it up. That I'd make sure that even if everything else changed for her she would still have me. And when Keith showed up at noon the next day to retrieve his daughter I watched her leave, our eyes doing all the talking, telling each other that she would always have me and I would always have her.

Promising that it would never change.

But the problem with never? Is that never, is a near impossible promise to keep.

* * *

I year, 10 months, 11 days, 12 hours, 16 minutes and 32 seconds to go.

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Thanks for reading! review please!


	3. Chapter 3

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (3/10)  
Rating: R for language and content  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise. Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, (mentions of Logan, Duncan, Leo, Wallace and Keith)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 4329  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: This chapter moves ahead in time. Since there are some changes to canon events there is some exposition at the beginning of the chapter.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited this fic!

* * *

Everything changed after Lilly's death.

Keith was hell bent on proving that Jake Kane was involved in his own daughter's death and he became almost obsessed with it. I begged him, pleaded with him to let it go, not that I didn't believe him, I knew he was probably right to some extent but it didn't matter, I knew what would happen if he kept digging. The Kane's and their friends practically owned Neptune and there was no way Keith would ever be able to pin anything on him, it would end up ruining him but he refused to listen to me and it led to a falling out between us.

And then the next thing I knew; Keith had been fired and the mayor had me running for Sheriff of Balboa County. I hadn't even wanted the job, but I wasn't given a choice and I had to just stand there and watch as the town turned against the Mars family.

It killed me to see Veronica go through the pain of losing her home, her friends and then her mother. I wanted to be there for her, be with her, but she refused.

She wouldn't even talk to me, she didn't want me in her life at all anymore. But I wasn't even sure if that was the truth though. It could have just been loyalty towards her dad and not any personal feelings for all I knew. But regardless, in her mind, I had betrayed and hurt him, I had taken her father's job and their lively hood when I became Sheriff, so in association, I had hurt her and betrayed her. I loved her and it felt like she didn't love me anymore. I'd lost the only real family I'd ever known and my chance at a future with the only person I'd ever imagined one with.

And then things just got worse.

I'd gotten a call about an abandoned car outside the Pomeroy's house early on a Sunday morning and went to check it out. When I saw the car I almost stopped breathing; tires slashed, windows broken and the word slut, among other things, scrawled across the windows that were still intact, it was Veronica's car. I called a tow truck to take it to a local body shop, followed the tow truck there, paid for all the repairs and gave them the Mars' address so they could drop it off when they were done. From there I went straight to their apartment. I knocked on the door hoping to god that someone would answer but no one did, I called her 12 times that day and she didn't answer once. The only thing that kept me from breaking down the door was the fact that I could hear her breathing on the other side. I mean at least I knew she was alive, but I was beyond worried and spent the next week trying to get her to talk to me but she still wouldn't take my calls or answer the door, she just hid at home and I was beyond worried.

The next time I saw her, the beautiful, pure, sweet thing I used to know just wasn't there anymore. She'd cut her hair, bought new clothes and became a completely different version of herself. I didn't even recognize her anymore. I knew something was wrong, something had to have happened, something more that what had happened with her dad and family but I didn't know what it was and she wouldn't tell me.

On the few occasions I did see her she was far from happy to see me. She acted like she hated me and I hated that because I didn't hate her at all. I still loved her and still wanted her, but she didn't want me.

I wanted to be close to her so badly that I started arresting her every chance I got just to be close to her and fuck if she didn't think it was just to be a dick.

The only solace I had, if you can even call it that, was the fact that Logan Echolls didn't take her from me. Instead he turned against her more than anyone else. I didn't want him to have her, but I didn't want him to hurt her. It was like my own feelings and wishes had back fired and hurt her even more. The only thing I took more joy in than arresting Veronica, was arresting him, just to punish him for what he did to her.

I was so upset and so ruined that I put on the façade of not caring. I pretend to loath the Mars', to hate everything they were about, when all I really wanted was to have them back. And I stopped listening to her, when something happened or she had evidence of something I turned away from it. Not that I didn't believe her, I did, I knew she was probably right, but I hoped that by me not helping she might give up and stay away from danger, I couldn't deal with the thought of her getting hurt. But that back fired on me too. She just tried harder, searched longer, put herself in increasingly more danger and took every chance she got to make me look incompetent or to hurt me. Every time she called me 'Deputy,' it was like a fucking knife to the heart as her words of love came back to my mind. Pretty soon I just stopped caring if she made me look like an ass or called me 'Deputy' , I was happy just to hear the word and I'd have admitted I was a crappy Sheriff live on CNN if I thought it might give me a chance of getting her back.

We went from all the promise in the world to nothing in just a few short months.

I hated myself and everyone else and wished more than anything that I could turn back time. Make love to her like I'd wanted to that night and keep her with me. Things would have been different if I had, I just knew it. But I couldn't change the past, no matter how much I wanted to, I was stuck.

But despite everything that happened I never forgot the promises I made her. I would kiss her, I already had but I would again. And someday, I'd be with her. It didn't seem like it would ever happen but I held onto the hope.

I just knew that someday, somehow, I'd have her again.

Because we were inevitable. Veronica Mars and Don Lamb were destined to be in each other's lives. So I made sure that she couldn't get rid of me, no matter how hard she tried.

* * *

May 29th 2005

1 year, 7 months, 25 days, 10 hours, 3 minutes and 6 seconds since Lilly's death.

When Leo took Logan away I was left with my thoughts once again, the one thing I didn't want to be left with and I went right back to what was running through my mind while I was in the freezer.

I should have been thinking of my dad, or Lilly, or Logan, or Wallace, fuck even Duncan.

But I wasn't. I was only thinking about one thing, one person; him. **The** him. The him, that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hate him, at least not completely. The him, that no matter how hard I tried to avoid him, I couldn't escape him.

Don Lamb.

He was part of my past that just wouldn't let me go. I wasn't even sure I wanted to let him go. As much as I didn't want to, I still wanted him, more than anything,

But he had betrayed my father, took his job and set off a chain of events that essentially ruined my life. I couldn't forgive him for that and my wants and needs just couldn't combat the feelings of distrust.

It's why I didn't go to him after my rape. I was so afraid and scared and upset and wanted him to hold me so badly. But I couldn't trust him to help me, to believe. I was so afraid that I'd go to him and he'd laugh at me. Tell me to 'go see the wizard' like he used when I was younger, but with malice in his voice. I couldn't do it. I couldn't put myself through it. So I ran home and hid. I ignored his calls, his frequent visits to my apartment. I had to physically stop myself from running to the door and begging him to make it better.

As time went on I thought it would get easier but it didn't. I still wanted him, but by that point I was pretty sure he didn't want me. He arrested me every chance he got and wouldn't listen to me no matter what evidence I had. So to get back at him I called him 'Deputy', a term so laced with endearment that I hoped it hurt him beyond belief, because I was hurting beyond belief.

When I was in the freezer his face kept popping into my head. I wanted him to save me. I thought about him showing up and pulling me out of there, taking me with him and finally making me his, like I'd wanted him to so long ago. I thought about all of that even though I knew it was wrong and that it wouldn't happen anyway. He'd never come for me and it was like betraying my dad even wishing for it. By not trusting him and trying to hurt him back I pushed away the one person I couldn't live without. But even if by some miracle he still wanted me and was willing to forgive me for all my wrong doings, I didn't think I could ever forgive him regardless of how I felt for him. I just didn't have the capacity for trust or forgiveness anymore

So there I was, just sitting there on the couch staring at the door. Just thinking about how close I'd come to dying and Lamb's promises to me. That he'd kiss me before I died, he already had but he promised he would again and the promise that we'd be together someday. I still wanted that, as much as I didn't want to, I did. Someday. I felt numb, I was alone and hurting and scared and I wanted comfort from the one person I shouldn't. What the fuck was wrong with me?

When I heard the knock on the door my heart nearly stopped. With my luck it was probably Duncan and I wasn't in the mood to deal with him after what that bastard had done to me.

When I got to the door and found the one person I really wanted standing there, my brain stopped working…I would never forgive myself for the first words out of my mouth.

"What the fuck do you want?"

* * *

I was the one that found Echolls' SUV at the Mars' apartment. I called it in and parked a few blocks down waiting for D'Amato to take him to the station. When they pulled away I got out of the car and walked towards the building.

I had to see her again, see for myself that she was alive, ok. I just needed to be sure, she had almost died and my brain just couldn't handle it. I needed to be near her, even if just for a few minutes.

When she opened the door I took a deep breath, the bruises had gotten worse but god she was still beautiful.

I looked at her as she spoke and almost laughed. Her words were cruel but her face and her eyes betrayed her. She was happy to see me, at least a little. Had she been hoping I'd show up? Had she been thinking about my promises too? It was all I'd been thinking about all night.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok."

She looked at me blankly. "Well, as you can see I'm fine."

I nodded and looked past her.

Before I could ask she answered my question. "Logan's not here."

"I know, are you alone?"

"Yeah."

"You shouldn't be alone."

"Well you shouldn't be here."

It was a lie, I could tell, it held no weight. "I'm not leaving."

She closed her eyes seemingly trying to control whatever thoughts she was having and turned around. "Fine, suit yourself, but don't expect hospitality."

She walked away from me and I followed, I turned to close and lock the door once I entered the apartment and when I turned back to her she was still standing there with her back to me and something just kind of broke in my mind.

Seeing her standing there, broken but alive...I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to touch her, feel her, hold her. She'd probably castrate me for it but I didn't care.

I stepped forward until I was only an inch away, I could feel the warmth radiating off of her body and I saw her shiver, she could feel me, knew how close I was and she hadn't run from me yet.

So I slowly and surely moved my arms around her, one arm across her collar bone resting my hand on her right shoulder and the other around her waist, my hand stopping to rest on her stomach. She let out a choked sob and I pulled her against me as her knees gave way.

We end up on the ground. Me on my knees, her on hers leaning back into me. I clung to her, both of us breathing hard. I refused to let go and she wasn't trying to make me. I was inwardly celebrating, I'd worried that I'd never be this close to her again and yet there I was.

Neither of us said anything, we just stayed there like that and after a few minutes I moved my hand on her stomach. Her tank had ridden up and I caressed the bare skin, circling her navel and smiling when she pressed back against me.

I moved my lips to her neck, taking in the sweet skin and kissing her below her jawline.

I began trailing my hand further up her stomach enjoying every inch of skin on the way, only stopping when I felt the fabric of her bra. Veronica's breathing was fast and hard and when I moved my other hand on her shoulder underneath the strap of her tank, she let out a breathy 'Deputy' and I lost it.

I moved my lower hand back to her belly and pressed her against me again, grinding my ever increasing hardness into her. She gasped again and I moved back before twisting her in my arms so we were face to face, still on our knees and still on the floor.

My arms where still around her and I pulled her close again. She would barely meet my eyes but it didn't bother me because I knew why, she didn't want me to know how much she wanted this.

She went to speak but I stopped her. "I know."

She looked at me funny. "How..?"

I stopped her again. "I just do." I brought one of my hands up to her face and she closed her eyes, I wanted to fucking cry, I couldn't believe she was in my arms again, fucking finally in my arms again. I pulled her against my chest and stroked her hair. "You almost died tonight Veronica."

It took her awhile to answer but she finally choked out a response. "I know." I could feel tears beginning to soak through my shirt and I was surprised. When had she started crying again?

"You can't do that to me. You can't die on me. You're not allowed to die on me."

"You either."

I smiled. "I won't."

"Promise?"

"Of course." I pulled her face back up to look at me.

I saw determination in her face. "You always keep your promises don't you Deputy?"

It wasn't a question it was an invitation, I knew what she was saying and I'd be damned if I gave up this chance. So I crushed my lips to hers.

It had none of the sweetness of the last kisses we had shared, but all of the passion and more.

It was fast and rough and turned my fucking brain to goo and then just as soon as it began it stopped as she pulled back from me.

I was scared to death that she was going to stop me. I had no idea how far this was going to go but I wasn't ready for it to be over yet. I wasn't ready to give her back. But I also I wasn't going to delude myself, I knew that whatever happened wouldn't change anything between us, not yet, there was still too much shit to overcome. But this was something, at least a step towards that future I knew we had. I just wanted a little more time in her presence, in her arms, against her skin.

And just like that my fears were gone because her nimble little fingers began unbuttoning my shirt and I felt like yelling in triumph. We continued to kneel there, and as she continued with my shirt, I kissed every inch of her face, neck and chest that was readily exposed to me, eliciting sounds from her that just egged me on.

Once I was relieved of my shirt she grabbed my hands and brought them to the hem of her tank and that's about when I stopped breathing, I was finally going to see what I'd spent a multitude of taxpayers' money imagining. I took the material in my hands and lifted it up and off of her. And there she was, my Veronica Mars in only her bra. It was an automatic reaction for my hand to raise and cup her breast as my lips continued their exploration, finding an expanse of human silk they'd never felt before and she arched into me as I slipped my finger under the cup and grazed her nipple. Her breathing was labored and I was thanking god for the human perfection that was currently under my finger tips.

I looked up at her and when she fused her mouth to mine I brought my hands to the straps of her bra and slid them down until it fell exposing her to me completely before I reached around unclasped it and tossed the unneeded fabric over my shoulder.

As our tongues continued to battle for control and her naked chest pressed against mine, I moved my hands lower grasping her perfect ass and pulled her forward until she moved to wrap her legs around my waist. I held my hands under her as I unsteadily stood up and carried her to her bedroom.

When I reached the bed I laid her down gently and stood back to stare, taking in the utter beauty that was my Veronica Mars. There she was, her pale flawless skin flushed with arousal and need for me, my dream was coming true, finally, and maybe completely. Every step we took that she didn't stop me gave me a better chance of making her mine, at least for the night. Well, forever in my mind.

Not wanting to waste anymore precious time I lowered myself to the bed and brought my body flush with hers, claiming her mouth once again. Our hands and lips explored each other for almost an hour just taking it all in, not rushing.

And when I was beyond ready, I sat back, looked into her eyes and moved my hands to the waist band of her sweat pants.

We never lost eye contact the entire time, I saw desire in her eyes and took that as my cue to continue. I only made it an inch before I saw the hesitation pass over her features and I died a little inside. She was still only 17 and I could have disregarded that, finally. But what I couldn't disregard….

She still didn't trust me. She wasn't ready for me.

So I pulled them back to their original position and leaned in to kiss her. She looked at me in confusion just as she had the time before. "Lamb?"

"You don't trust me."

She looked away a little realizing I knew the truth and she couldn't deny it. I saw a tear fall from her eye and as I brushed it away with my finger, she turned back to me, guilt on her face and I hated myself. "I'm sorry."

I looked up at the sky, imploring whatever god there might be to give me the strength to get through the next few minutes, months, years what have you, before I'd be in her arms, her bed again. "You have no reason to be sorry Veronica. "

"But I made you think…."

"No, I made me think. I knew this was a possibility from the minute it started. I won't have you unless you're ready. Not until then."

She just kind of stared at me for a second and then she asked quietly. "How can you still want me?"

I laughed outright. "How can I not?"

I saw something then, something that bothered me more than anything ever had before. I knew then what had happened to change her. Someone had touched her, hurt her. Someone had robbed her of her innocence and I felt rage like none other. As all those thoughts bombarded my mind I almost didn't hear her next words. "I'm ruined."

And with that my confidence was renewed and I moved back over her kissing her breathless before sitting up and pulling her against me. "You are not ruined, you are still perfect. To me and to multiple others."

She smiled a little but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thank you."

I took a deep breath then and asked, I could be wrong for all I knew and I had to know, I doubted she would tell me, but I had to try. "Who was it?"

She turned from me again and I watched her perfect chest rise and fall with her breathing. "No one important."

Three words and all of my worst fears for her had come true, I wanted to cry for her, do something, anything, but there was nothing I could do that would truly fix it. So I kissed her again and cradled her to me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She sniffed a little and I could feel the tears on my shoulder. "Would you have actually believed me?"

I tried not to be offended, I'd expected it after all, but it still fucking hurt. "Of course, I always told you that I was always there for you, no matter what."

"How was I supposed to believe you meant that when you turned on us, when you stopped listening?"

"I didn't..." I stopped myself, I refused to ruin this night with bitter words. "You know what, it doesn't matter. I would have, please just know that. Everything I do is about you, just remember that."

She looked back up at me again tears gone. "I think that someday I'll be able to believe you again."

I smiled at her honest admission. It was good enough and as close to her saying that someday we'd be together as I was going to get. So I pulled one of her own tricks on her. "Promise?"

"Will you take an, 'I'll try'?"

"If you** promise** to try."

She smiled again. "I promise."

I kissed her again and moved away from her, stepping away from the bed as well but she grabbed my hand. "No, please don't go. Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone tonight."

I turned back to her and saw the fear in her eyes. All she'd needed to do was ask and I would have stayed, but as if I needed another sign that she still didn't trust me and wasn't ready to be together yet, she was begging me like she thought I might say no. I pulled her hand up kissed it lightly and laid back down next to her petite form. She shifted slightly leaning over me and giving me one last kiss before resting against my chest.

I put my arm around her and stroked her soft skin and when my thumb accidentally grazed her still naked breast she shuddered. "Do you still promise?"

I didn't need to ask what, I already knew so I answered with a quick. "Yes."

"Ok." Was all the response I got before she drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with her still in my arms and I quietly disentangled myself from her. I kissed her forehead and covered her with the blankets before walking into the front room to retrieve my shirt and a few others things.

I returned a few minutes later placing one last kiss on her perfect lips.

"I still love you Veronica Mars."

When she woke up later she would find me gone and I knew she would feel more remorse than she'd ever admit, it was just the way she was. And in her search for the randomly discarded bra she'd find the note I left saying all I needed to say.

_I promise that this won't be the last time I kiss you._

_And I promise that someday we will have this again, just you and me._

_And I don't break my promises._

She would smile knowing it was true, as much as she did or didn't want it to be.

And then she would spend hours searching for that bra and weeks scared to death her father would accidentally find it.

Of course the chances of that happening were slim, unless he somehow found his way into my sock drawer.

* * *

And even though it didn't really matter anymore, because she'd be mine someday regardless:

2 months, 15 days, 17 hours, 32 minutes, 12 seconds to go.

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Thanks for reading! Review Please!

A/N: there are many speculations as to when the infamous party took place; I've seen it as the end of the year (New Years) and end of school year (May/June). For this fic it is new years. She did discover that Duncan was the man she was with but this will be different from canon, I never liked the fact that she took him back after that, even if she was somewhat coherent she was still under the influence and he still took advantage of her. So she will harbor animosity towards him and they will not be getting back together. He still breaks up with Meg in hopes of getting Veronica back so that storyline will remain, with meg dying, Duncan leaving with the baby and veronica helping. Also in regards to the rape storyline, she finds out about the STD very soon after the rape takes place so she already has that information before the events at the end of season 2 occur, because I always found it hard to believe that she didn't bother to go to the doctor after being raped to be checked for them. Since these are minor changes and really have nothing to do with the relationship between Lamb and Veronica they will not be mentioned in the fic. If you have any questions please don't be afraid to ask.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (4/10)  
Rating: R for language and content  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise. Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, (mentions of Logan, Duncan, and Keith)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 4100  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'

A/N:. Tensions are running high between Veronica and Lamb. I always felt that Veronica's mindstate in season 2 wasn't very good. Like she really had no idea what she wanted and everyone was expecting something from her and no matter what she chose she was hurting someone. I demonstrate that here. You will also get a better idea I think of just how important she is to Lamb. This is not a happy chapter.

this was supposed to be posted yesterday but there were some upload issues, in other words it wouldn't me upload it at all. So I'm sorry if you were anxiously awaiting this chapter.

A big thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited! you guys make my day!

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3 months, 2 days, 8 hours, 5 minutes and 10 seconds later.

* * *

August 31, 2005.

The minute I arrived on the scene I looked for her. I knew she'd been on that bus; I'd been keeping tabs on her the best I could since the incident with Aaron and although it wasn't easy in her normal life, when it came to school activities I had a little more control.

I died a little inside when I saw what remained of the bus. If she was on it, she was gone and I wasn't willing to accept that fact, so I stood there, staring over the edge hoping to god for a miracle when I felt something. I was being watched and not by one of my deputies or a random bystander, by someone important, more important than anyone else.

I turned my head and felt a wave of relief crash over me. There she stood, off to the side and surrounded by the kids from the limo, Echolls and the Kane kid among them and both of them standing close to her, probably feeling the same relief I was.

We made eye contact and kept it for the longest time. I don't know how I kept myself from running to her but I did, this was neither the time nor the place for me to admit to the world that I was under Veronica Mars' spell. So we continued to stand there.

After an initial investigation of the scene Sacks and I approached the group of kids on the side of the road to get their statements. We separated them, speaking to them individually and I not only made sure I was the one to talk to her, but that she was the last one left.

I sent the limo on its way when we were done with the other kids and Veronica followed me silently to my cruiser and got in the front willingly. When we got back to Neptune I drove us to my apartment and once again she followed me in silence.

I closed the door behind us and stood there for a second with my back to her. I didn't know what was going to happen this time. I knew she was having a hard time where her personal life was concerned. She'd broken it off with Echolls in July but remained by his side as a friend and Duncan had tried to get her back but she'd refused him. I was thrilled on both accounts, but I also knew that both boys were still hounding after her. And sure, things hadn't been awkward between us since our 'almost' night together, but nothing else had happened and she'd been downright cold to me the few times I'd seen her. I just didn't know where she…we stood.

When I finally turned around she was staring at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Why didn't you take me home?"

I laughed a little and shook my head. "You seriously have to ask?"

She looked shocked and it caught me a little off guard. "Oh, I guess…well I didn't think. You should have just taken me home."

I stepped closer to her and took comfort in the fact that she didn't try to move away. "You weren't complaining in the car. You saw I was going the wrong direction to take you home, so if it was such an issue you should have said something Mars."

I kept advancing on her in an almost predatory nature and she continued to stare me down, not giving me an inch, when I was more than ready to take multiple miles. And then she faltered a little. "I guess I wasn't paying attention."

It was a bold faced lie, she knew exactly where I was taking her and why. "So were you not paying attention when you got out of the car or walked into my apartment either?"

She started to look nervous. "Well I…"

I finally reached her and brought my hand to her face, brushing a stray hair out of the way. "Are you paying attention now?"

She nodded slightly. I smiled and leaned in, I was only an inch away when she interrupted me. "I need to get home; I need to see my dad so he knows I'm ok."

I sighed and pulled her into my arms. "Ok, but not now."

I moved in again and once again she stopped me. "I…I can't do this."

I looked into her eyes and saw fear, and it bothered me beyond belief, she should never be scared to be with me. What was happening here? I knew she still didn't trust me and she wasn't ready for me, but I just wanted a few moments with her. I just wanted to reaffirm to her and myself that we were still both there and both breathing. "What can't you do?"

She tried to get out of my arms but I held her in place, so instead she averted her gaze and refused to look at me. "I can't be with you."

I brought my hand to her chin and raised it so she was looking at me again. "You don't have to be with me Mars, not yet, not till you say so. I only want to keep my promise. I only want one kiss."

She smirked a little and I couldn't help but return it, I thought that maybe I was getting my Veronica Mars back. "It's never just one kiss with us Deputy."

I smiled, leaned in again and breathed against her lips. "I know."

Before she could stop me again I pressed my lips to hers and instantly her arms were around my neck, her resistance gone.

I lifted her off the ground and she curled her legs around my waist as I carried her towards the counter setting her on it. She was matching my enthusiasm intently, kissing me back with equal fervor and arching into my hand when it closed over her breast. Within no time my shirt was gone and she had whipped hers off over her head, took her bra with it and she was bent back over the counter. She made no objections when my hands undid the button on her jeans or slowly slid the zipper down, there was no hesitation of any kind, only a low pleasureful moan from her as I pushed my hand inside and my fingers grazed over her covered center.

I was so in tuned to what was going on and the way she was making me feel, the way I thought/knew I was making her feel, that it took me by complete surprise when just as I was about to slide a finger under the material of her soaked panties she suddenly pushed me away.

I stepped back in shock and just looked at her, lips swollen, hair mussed and half naked with a wanton look in her eyes. What the fuck just happened?

"I said I couldn't do this Lamb!" Suddenly she was crying and pulling her knees up to her chest as she continued to sit on my kitchen counter. And I was just, well fuck, flabbergasted would probably work.

"What's wrong?" There had to be something wrong. There was no other explanation for it. She had been into it, it wasn't just in my mind.

But she looked so distraught and it killed me. "I'm just so confused right now with everything; all I want is normal and I just can't seem to find it! I have Duncan and Logan continually expecting me to choose and then the fucking bus crashes and Meg was on it and it's my fault she wasn't in the limo and now you have to go and make it all worse! I can't choose, I don't want to choose; I just want to let go and let things take their course! Can't you people see that?"

And then she was off the counter, frantically redressing herself with tears still spilling from her eyes.

"I'm not asking you to choose." I wasn't was I? Fuck, I was. I was always asking her to choose. Every time I touched her or looked at her, I was begging her to pick me.

"Yes you are! I don't trust you! I don't trust them! I don't trust anyone so how the hell do you all expect me to put faith in any of you?"

This wasn't what I'd intended, what I'd wanted. I'd only wanted a minute or two with her, more if she allow it and she had. But now she was in an even worse state than before. I was hurting her and I hated hurting her. "Veronica I…"

"No, I don't want to hear it! I can't do this!"

Finally fully clothed but still frantic, she tried to get past me but I grabbed onto her, holding her against me and pleading with her. "Wait, stop, please don't leave like this. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to scare or push you. I love you. What can I do to fix this, to help you? What can I do to make this better?"

"You can stop."

"Stop what?"

She looked away from me again and refused to meet my eyes when the most horrific words I'd ever heard left her mouth. "Stop loving me."

I may not have stopped loving her but I think I stopped breathing and all I could respond with was a simple. "No."

"Then I guess you don't intend to keep the promise that you would always help me."

And then she was shoving me off of her and walking out the door and I was standing there broken. What had just happened? What had I done? I would never stop loving her and even if I did, it wouldn't be helping her. What was her problem?

And as I continued to watch her I figured it out.

It wasn't just that she didn't trust me; she didn't trust herself when she was with me. She hadn't meant what she said at all, because she wanted me more than ever.

But it didn't matter how much she wanted me.

Because she wanted normal and we weren't normal. Far from it.

* * *

I avoided him at all costs after that. I was so ashamed of my actions that I couldn't bring myself to face him.

I'd wanted him so badly and for awhile I really thought I could do it, just give myself to him completely. But I was just, well, a fucking mess in that moment and I freaked out. I'd been so tired of everyone expecting something from me and I just couldn't handle it anymore and with the bus crash, and Meg. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I knew he was onto me though, he knew there was no truth to anything I said, I didn't want him to stop loving me, it was one of the only constants in my life, I couldn't give that up even though it would be so much easier if he did stop. And it scared the shit out of me to realize how much I wanted him.

But the problem was that no matter how much I wanted him, I still hated him and still didn't trust him and until that was conquered I couldn't give him the chance he so desperately wanted. That **I,** so desperately wanted to give him.

When I saw him at Jessie's house a few days later he looked at me like he hadn't seen me in years. Like he might throw me over his shoulder any second and take me away, keep me all to himself. I couldn't decide if that would be a bad thing or a good thing. I was beyond confusion. Logan wanted me, Duncan wanted me, which made me physically ill regardless of the tentative friendship we'd revived, and Lamb, as always, was waiting I the wings, wanting me more than the other two combined.

But the entire time I was there I had a horrible sinking feeling and it wasn't from his feelings for me or any of that. It was anger. I was so fucking mad at him. For his investigation into the bus crash, for not listening to me or my dad again, for how he was going to ruin Jessie's family. I couldn't let that happen, wouldn't let that happen.

And then later he made the anger worse when he kicked me out of the interrogation room without saying a damn word. I knew he just wanted me to stay out of it and stay safe but it just made me even madder. So I used that anger and I found the truth.

But that anger had a domino effect to it, leading me to the truth and then to an epiphany that would lead me towards one of the biggest regrets of my life.

He was wonderful and perfect when I went to him, so happy to finally have me and so willing to take what I was offering. But as wonderful and amazing as it was, when it was over, I felt beyond guilty as I laid in his arms. I'd made my choice and I was happy with my choice, but not as happy as I should have been or could have been. I would always regret the fact that Logan was my first..because it should have been Lamb.

And now I had a heaping pile of guilt to add to the distrust and hate that had come between Lamb and I.

* * *

September 20, 2005

I'd hardly seen her since the day of the crash.

I was so hell bent on keeping her out of the investigation, even if just for her own good, that I completely ignored everything she and Keith said. It was like reverse tunnel vision, completely disregarding everything Veronica Mars, for the first time in years my mind wasn't focused solely on her, it was focused on my work and only my work, trying to solve the case before she could and keep her from getting hurt again.

But of course, as always, that didn't happen and she found the proof that the bus driver didn't kill himself and I was back to square one. It was getting harder to handle and I felt myself getting angry with her.

And then that fucking body washed up on the beach with her fucking name on its palm and I just didn't know what to do anymore. I was more scared than I ever had been when I saw that. She refused to talk to me and she didn't want me in her life, or at least she pretended that she didn't, so I had Sacks bring her in.

But she didn't show up alone and the sight that met me as I walked out of my office literally broke my heart in two. Fucking Logan Echolls. I could tell just from the way he was standing there with her, touching her, standing too close to her, making sure everyone knew that she was his, I knew he'd had her.

Fuck, that son of a bitch had slept with her.

And it hurt like a mother fucker, I wanted to run back into my office, close the shades, curl up in a corner and die. I didn't think it was possible to hurt like that or to hate him more than I already did, but apparently it was.

When she saw me it was like a deer in the head lights. She followed me into the interrogation room and didn't say a thing. She knew I knew.

I showed her the pictures of Curly and got what I could out of her. The entire time I wanted to just shake her, knock some sense into her, beg her to tell me it wasn't true, beg her to choose me, not him. To take back what she gave him and give it to me. She was supposed to have given it to me!

When she went to leave I couldn't take it anymore. "Why?"

She didn't turn back to me, just stared straight ahead. "He was the easiest choice."

Why was I doing this? It was just making the pain even worse. But I knew that that wasn't the whole reason she chose him and even though I knew I was setting myself up for the worst pain known to man I went forward. I got up from my chair and stepped up behind her. "Why?"

She still refused to look at me. "He's not you."

And that's what broke me completely, the two pieces of my heart just shattered, she'd turned her back on me both figuratively and literally. I'd lost her and didn't know if I'd ever get her back.

No, no that wasn't true, I would get her back it would happen, it had to. I grabbed her by her shoulder and spun her around before pressing her between myself and the door, I went to lean in and capture her lips but she stopped me.

"Why do you hate him so much?"

Stupid question, it was obvious why I hated him. "Why do I hate him? Really Mars? Like you don't know. What happened to 'Veronica Mars is smarter than me'?" She didn't respond so I pressed against her harder, my hands moving up and down her side, just barely grazing her breasts and making her shudder slightly. "I hate him for touching you; I hate him for having been inside you. I hate him for being allowed to keep you. I hate him for no other reason than the fact that he has what I want, what I've always wanted and will always want. I hate him for giving you what I've always wanted to." She didn't say anything, just continued to stare into my eyes but I saw that hint of guilt again. She knew I was right, she knew she'd made a mistake. And then I pressed my hand against her lower belly and whispered in her ear. "But just so you know, if the cuddling was the best part, he didn't do it right." She gasped a little and I smiled as I pulled her earlobe between my teeth eliciting a moan from her before I continued. "And someday Mars, I'll prove that to you."

I looked back to her eyes again and she said nothing. She didn't need to because her physical response said everything she needed to say. Her lips were immediately on mine, her arms around my neck pulling me closer, against her, into her. And then, just as fast as it had started, it ended and she pushed me away.

She just looked at me and as I moved back to her she grabbed the door handle. But before she could open the door and walk out of my life again, I reminded her that she was connected to me whether she like it or not. "Enjoy it while it lasts Veronica, because I still intend to keep my promises."

I'd kiss her again, many many times; she'd never be able to resist me. I knew that now, not even hate, or anger, or distrust could stop her from wanting me.

And someday we'd be together.

And until then, she'd better get used to me, because I wasn't going anywhere. If she thought I was a thorn in her side before, she hadn't seen anything yet, every time she turned around I'd be there. And if she wanted to hurt me, fine. Because I'd just hurt her right back.

After all, we always hurt the ones we love.

* * *

8 months, 14 days, 7 hours, 36 minutes and 2 seconds later.

* * *

June 3rd 2006 2AM

Cassidy Casablancas is lucky he threw himself off that roof, because if I had been the one to figure out what he'd done to Veronica…..it would have hurt a whole hell of a lot worse.

I didn't see her at The Grand. I'd arrived just after she left with Echolls and fuck, if I'd known that she thought her dad had died I would have called her immediately. She wouldn't have answered, things had gotten worse with us but I would have at least tried. I took him off that plane at the last minute because I had a bad feeling, I didn't know what it was but I knew there was something wrong and you can bet I was glad that I did it when the fucking thing blew up.

Just like every other time she had been at death's door or around death I went to her. My need to see her and feel her outweighing the doubts in my mind; he ones warning me that she still wasn't ready to forgive me for all my wrongs, that she still hated me and didn't trust me. Things had not been good between us for months, worse than ever actually. It was like we were in a competition to see who could hurt who the most, a competition that I didn't even want to be part of, but couldn't get out of. So even though I knew I could just be setting myself up for more hurt but I went to her anyways.

I was almost to her door when I looked in the window, the shades were open slightly and there she was, lying on the couch, asleep in Logan Echolls' arms.

He had taken my place; he had stolen my one purpose in life, to comfort, to heal Veronica Mars.

I'd lost her and I left more heartbroken than ever.

But two days later I walked into my office to find her sitting in my chair.

She didn't smile as I closed the door behind me, or when I walked towards her, or when I pulled her up from the chair taking her place and pulling her into my lap. She didn't smile at me or say a single word until I put my arms around her, embracing her tightly. "You weren't there."

I thanked god the minute the words were out of her mouth, I still mattered, she'd wanted me there and she thought I hadn't come; it had bothered her that I hadn't come. She still wanted me; she still wanted me to comfort her. I hadn't lost her to him completely. "Yes I was."

She looked up at me then and I loosened my hold on her so she didn't have to crane her neck. "You were?"

I nodded and I could see the understanding on her face, she knew I was telling the truth and she knew why she didn't see me and she looked guilty again and sad, because once again her relationship with Logan had hurt me. But I didn't want her to feel that way this time, not like the last when my words had been meant to hurt her. So this time I let my actions speak for me, I cupped her cheek and kissed her lightly and when I pulled back she finally smiled. I didn't kiss her again, I just sat there with her, holding her.

She left 20 minutes later, not a word was spoken as she stood up, the only interaction we had was one more small, sweet, kiss before she turned towards the door.

After she was gone I slouched back in my chair and stared at the wall. That's when I noticed the wrinkled and worn piece of paper lying on my desk. It looked like it had been read a million times, a million different ways.

_I promise that this won't be the last time I kiss you._

_And I promise that someday we will have this again, just you and me._

_And I don't break my promises._

And underneath my words were three new ones.

_You too Deputy._

Those three words completely renewed my faith in her and in us, she'd heard me that morning as I left her house and it may have taken her a year to say it back, but she did say it back and that was what mattered.

And that is when I made **myself** a promise. A promise I would be as hell bent on keeping as the ones I'd made to her.

I wouldn't try to hurt her just to get her attention, I wouldn't follow her or track her every move and the next time she came to me….I would listen and I would help.

I'd fix it; I'd gain her forgiveness, regain her trust and make myself worthy of her love.

And we would have that someday. Even if I died trying.

* * *

9 months , 22 days, 13 hours, 21 minutes, 57 seconds post 18th birthday and still counting.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Review please!

A/N2: since I don't mention it. Keith and Lamb do go head to head in the election and all other events between them (v/lamb/keith) concerning the bus crash transpire. And when Duncan leaves town, both Veronica and Logan help him.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (5/10)  
Rating: NC-17 Note change in rating!  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise. Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, (mentions of Logan/Veronica, Keith, Vinnie, Parker and Mac)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 6694  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: ok, so I always get really nervous when I write smut. So nervous in fact that I literally reread it and edit it at least 15 times and by the time I post it, I really have no idea if it's even any good anymore. And this smut in particular is really fluffy. So what I'm trying to say is…..if it sucks, I apologize in advance. On a lighter note….A big thanks to Sweetpea2100 for helping me make a choice about one of the sections in this chapter!

A big thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited this fic!

* * *

It was strange but once I stopped stalking Veronica I seemed to see her more and believe me when I say I wasn't complaining. We almost seemed to have come to a stalemate, the barbs and the snarks continued but the animosity began to lessen. There were even times that she actually looked happy to see me.

When she decided to go to Hearst instead of Stanford, well when she turned down Logan's offer to pay for her to go to Stanford that is, I was thrilled. I hadn't wanted her to leave but there was still some worry in the decision for me. I knew it was only a matter of time before she somehow insinuated herself into the Hearst rape case. Considering the personal aspect of the issue and that it was happening at her new school, it was just inevitable.

And I was right, within only a couple of weeks I was being called to a dorm room and who do I find but Veronica and her friend Mac comforting Mac's roommate.

Veronica looked devastated and I was confused. Well, at least I was until I got their statements.

They were going to a movie and had come back to the room to see if Parker wanted to go with them but there was a scrunchie on the door, a sign that she was busy, they didn't think anything of it and they left. When they returned later that night, both a little tipsy, the guy was long gone and they thought that she was just asleep so they didn't check on her and went to bed immediately.

They didn't know, there was no way they could have, and Parker wasn't mad at them. But it just hit too close to home for Veronica, she could have stopped it and she didn't.

When we got all the evidence we needed and one of my deputies escorted Parker to the hospital, I left in search of Veronica who had disappeared shortly after giving me her statement. It didn't take me long to find her, she was waiting for me by the stairs.

I looked around quickly before pulling her tight against me, she relaxed in my arms and I just breathed her in. I knew we only had a few seconds at the most so I made it quick. I kissed the top of her head and ran my fingers through her hair. "I know it won't do me any good to ask you to stay out of this so I won't. But what I am going to ask is that you be careful. Please, just don't get hurt. She looked up at me and smiled. And it was a **real** smile, something I hadn't seen from her in far too long. "I won't."

Half a minute later she was out of my arms and three students were walking up the stairs towards us.

As I turned to leave I couldn't help but notice that she was looking at me differently. It wasn't the way she used to look at me before everything went to hell, but it was close.

...

When she brought me the information about Mercer Hayes a few weeks later I was beyond worried. Not only was it possible but this was someone she knew. Someone she'd been around on more than one occasion, so I listened to her immediately. I had to make sure that if it **was** him, that he went down for his crimes. Having him near her just wasn't an option.

When I listened to her and took what she said seriously I saw something in her eyes that I hadn't seen in years, trust. Not a lot, but some and that was a miracle in and of itself. And I was on cloud nine, but that feeling didn't last long.

I don't know how he knew, but he'd figured it out somehow, Vinnie was a sneaky shit after all. And when he sent me the picture of Veronica at the River Stix I nearly had a heart attack, I was literally in the process of putting out an APB on her and running to my car when she walked into the station asking to see some guy in lock up.

She looked at me and must've known something was wrong, because once her 'clients' were gone she followed me into my office, set me down in my chair and set herself in my lap. She brought her hand up and placed it on my cheek. "What's wrong?" I didn't say anything, just showed her the picture. Her breath hitched a little and she looked at me mournfully. "Oh god, I'm sorry, you have to know that I didn't just go in there guns a'blazin. She ran in before I could stop her and I couldn't just leave her in there alone. Vinnie took that picture to help me."

I nodded, still a little freaked out and put my arms around her. "I figured, well I mean I hoped at least." I pulled her down to me and placed my forehead against hers. "God Veronica, you need to be more careful."

She smiled a little and leaned against me some more, running her hand over my arm. "You sound like Logan and my dad."

I flinched a little at the mention of Logan, he was still a very sore subject for me but I recovered quickly. "Yeah, well they're smart people."

She laughed a little and then sat up straight all of a sudden. "Wait, why did he send you that picture?"

"I don't know, I'm just as surprised as you."

She looked nervous and suspicious. "Blackmail?"

Fuck, I hadn't even thought about that. He obviously knew something and what if he took it to Keith, or someone else, it could potentially really hurt the both of us. But I stopped myself from getting too worried and pulled her back against me. "We'll worry about that if it happens. Not now ok."

Her response came out as more of a sigh. "Ok."

A few minutes later she was gone and I was on my way to Vinnie's office. He wouldn't be saying anything to anyone ever.

...

Later on I was looking into the new information about Mercer Hayes provided by the radio station when Vinnie decided to pay me a visit. I was fucking pissed, I'd thought I'd made it clear when I told him to stay out of it. I was ready rip him a new one until he opened his fucking mouth and actually said something useful for once.

That was how I found out about Veronica being drugged in the food court. Apparently he'd been on campus doing something or other and had been in the parking garage when he'd heard an alarm go off. He'd gone to see what it was and when he saw her on the ground he was about to go check on her (I wasn't completely sure I believed that) but stepped back and stayed in the shadows when he saw Logan running to her aid and taking her to safety.

And then he set something on my desk that made my stomach turn.

A few strands of silky blonde hair.

He didn't say anything else, just left the room and I sat there in fear. She was too close to it now and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

I spent the entire night outside of the Mars' apartment in my car just hoping for a glimpse of her, something to let me know she was ok.

By 8 AM I was getting impatient and was ready to go and see her for myself when my phone beeped.

I picked it up and smiled when I read the text.

_I'm alright. You can go home now. 3 V_

I laughed as I set my phone down, turned on my car and headed home.

She knew me too well.

...

Two weeks later she called me and told me to meet her at Benes Hall immediately, she hung up before I could tell her to wait for me, to be careful, and I was out the door and in my cruiser before anyone could ask me what had happened. I was halfway there before I thought to radio Sacks so he could send back up.

When I got to the dorm I ran in and started searching the hallways for Veronica. She was nowhere to be found and I started to feel anxious, my heart was nearly beating out of my chest. Where the fuck was she? I had pulled out my phone to call her when I saw Parker running towards me, she looked frantic and worried. "Sheriff, I heard a whistle."

I froze. Oh god. "Where was it coming from? Have you seen Veronica?"

She shook her head and looked even more distressed when I mentioned Veronica. "No, I haven't, but I think it came from this hallway."

My brain went into overdrive and alarms started going off in my head. Veronica had called me, now I couldn't find her and Parker had heard a whistle. I brought my phone back up and pressed send, it rang once and then I heard a phone ringing from somewhere close, it was Veronica's I could tell by the ringtone. She didn't pick up and I started to run following the sound with Parker still behind me. When it went to voicemail I hung up and redialed and when the phone started to ring again I found myself right outside the room it was coming from.

My heart started to hurt, she was in there and something was wrong I just knew it. I motioned for Parker to stand back, pounded on the door and yelled twice for them to open up, they didn't and when I yelled for Veronica I heard the one word I both needed and hadn't wanted to hear. "Deputy."

No, no, no. This was not happening.

I kicked in the door, gun raised, to find Mercer Hayes with a hammer in his hand and straddling Veronica who was half naked and in a crumpled heap on the floor. Rage filled me and I charged him, forcing him back into the other guy and they both went down. I brought my fist down hard, breaking Mercer's nose and knocking him out with just the one punch, his 'friend' didn't bother to resist.

Parker tended to Veronica, covering her and checking her for injuries as I put both Mercer and his friend in cuffs, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was barely conscious and she had the beginnings of numerous bruises on her skin, the worst being a large welt under her eye. I wanted to hold her, to be the one taking care of her, it had been too close and I was inwardly freaking out. If Parker hadn't heard the whistle and I hadn't listened to Veronica…I didn't even want to think about what would have happened.

When the ambulance arrived Parker rode with her as I stayed behind, finished the investigation and made a call to Keith. He sounded grateful and it had been so long since he'd had a tone like that with me I almost cried.

I didn't go to see her in the hospital or at her house. There were so many people around her that I couldn't get close to her. But I made sure that I was kept up to date on her condition and was beyond relieved to find out that not only had she not been raped, but we got to her just in time. The levels of GHB in her system could have killed her if she hadn't been found. I don't know what I would have done if she'd been raped again or had died. The thought of losing her was too horrible to bear.

When Echolls bashed in the cruiser I put him in the same cell as Mercer and his friend. Sure, there were 4 other cells available and I was fully aware of his intentions. But I didn't care and I stood off to the side watching as he took his aggressions out on them. It was the first time I was ever really grateful for Logan Echolls, watching was the next best thing to doing since I couldn't finish what I'd started earlier.

Four days later I still hadn't seen or heard from her and I was starting to get anxious. I started trying to think up excuses to see her or call her but couldn't think of any.

In the end it didn't matter though.

Because **she** came to **me**.

* * *

It was the strangest feeling.

Well that's not really true, it wasn't the strangest because it was something I'd felt before, it had just been a really long time. That was what made it strange. I didn't really know what to think about it either. I mean I'd always hoped it would happen, wondered if it would. But it didn't and stuff just kept happening to keep it that way. But if I was being honest the previous few months had been bringing it slowly. It wasn't complete but it was getting close.

The comfort was back, the ease of being near him was there again and the need to see him had returned.

I was beginning to trust him again and the hate I had felt towards him was slipping away as well.

He had listened to me when I'd brought him information and he hadn't asked me to go against type and leave things alone, instead he had allowed me to go ahead with it, just asking me to be careful and then in the end, he had saved my life.

He wasn't the same Don Lamb I'd known for the last 3 years, he wasn't the old one either but he was close, better maybe.

The funny thing was that what bothered me the most was that he hadn't come to see me, not the new feelings I was beginning to have for him, well not new, but newer or repeat. Fuck, I don't know.

After 4 days of nothing I couldn't take it anymore. I was pretty sure that he had stayed away because he knew I'd have someone around at all times, but I could have been wrong, maybe he didn't want to see me. Maybe he was mad at me for not waiting for him, for almost getting myself killed.

I needed to know why, but that wasn't the main reason I went to him. The main reason was because there was no one on Earth that I wanted to see more.

* * *

December 10th 2006 11:03PM

I'd had a particularly rough night at work.

I'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or right place at the wrong time. Or was it wrong place at the…oh whatever you know what I mean.

I'd been out on a call and I was on my way back to the station, trying to get my mind off of Veronica, when I stopped at the Sac-N-Pac for some gum. I'd parked at the back like I usually did and I was walking in the back door of the store when I heard the bell ding and the yelling start. I turned the corner to see a guy in a ski mask holding a gun to the clerk. Before I even knew what I was doing I'd moved around, positioned myself beside the guy and had my gun on him.

I was so focused on him that I didn't see his buddy outside by the car and didn't see him pull out a gun of his own. When he fired, the bullet when straight through the glass connecting with enough of my bicep to force me backwards, my own gun firing and barely missing the robber. I watched as they fled and the clerk came around to make sure I was ok. As he applied pressure to my wound I memorized the license plate of the car.

4 hours later they were in custody and the doctor at the ER was begrudgingly letting me go home. It was only a flesh wound, but it still hurt like hell and he'd really wanted me to stay overnight but all I wanted was to go home, be comfortable and left alone. When I got there I immediately shed my clothes and got into the shower. Being careful of the bandage I stayed under the spray for a long time. I'd been really fucking lucky and I knew it, but I wasn't thinking of myself I was thinking of her, wondering if she would have come to me the way I always went to her when she'd been touched in some way or another by death.

When I got out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked through the living room and into the kitchen to grab a beer.

I was so surprised to see her standing by my front door that I almost dropped my towel. Not knowing if that would have been a good thing or a bad thing but then not really caring either. She didn't smile at me but she took her time taking in my appearance and **I** smiled at that. Because from the looks of it, and the way her cheeks reddened, she liked what she saw.

She finally met my eyes and I smiled at her. "Not that I'm not happy to see you Mars, but how exactly did you get in here?"

She smirked a little and crossed her arms over her gorgeous chest, fuck I needed to calm down, I was only wearing a towel for god's sake, if something decided to make an appearance there would be no hiding it. But I really couldn't help it, she was wearing probably one of the tiniest skirts I'd ever seen and a light blue button down shirt that was unbuttoned to her cleavage and showed off her attributes all too well, I was honestly surprised that I wasn't drooling. I'm not sure how long I'd been staring, but it must have been for awhile because when I finally reached her face again her smirk had grown and she raised an eyebrow at me. "The door was open."

"Huh?" What? Oh yeah, I'd asked how she got in. "Oh, really? I thought I'd locked it."

She shook her head still smirking. "Nope." She pointed to my arm then with a curious look on her face. "What happened? Did your new 'Bad to the Bone' tattoo get infected?"

I laughed, slightly worried to tell her what had happened, so I stalled. "Um no, I don't get that till **next** pay day, besides I was thinking more like my right butt cheek for that one. The shoulder is better for a dragon or something more, you know, macho." When I mentioned my butt she blushed completely and I smiled because it was such a beautiful sight and so very young Veronica, something I rarely saw anymore. But the smile faded and she tilted her head still looking for an answer, so I just let it out. "I got shot."

The minute the words were out of my mouth she turned stark white, her posture shifted a little and she looked like she might pass out. I was about to rush over to her when she seemed to recover. "How?" I told her what happened, both of us still on opposite sides of the room and when I was done she looked relieved. "So you're ok?"

I nodded and took a step towards her. "Fine, only a couple of stitches and in a week or two I'll be good as knew."

She didn't move closer to me but didn't move away either when I took that step. "Good. I'm gad."

We were silent for a few moments until I finally remembered that I didn't know why she was here. "So, um once again, not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but what exactly are you doing here?"

She looked away a little and I couldn't tell if it was guilt or embarrassment or if she just flat out didn't know what to say. And then she turned and looked me straight in the eyes and shocked the fucking hell out of me. "I came to say thank you."

I couldn't contain my smile. "For?" Please, like I didn't know. But I really just wanted to hear her say it.

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes in that 'of course he isn't going to make this easy on me' way. "For listening to me and helping me. For saving my life. If you hadn't shown up when you did…who knows what might have happened."

My heart skipped a beat for a second because I knew what would have happened. If hadn't kicked in the door when I did, Mercer would have bashed her head in with that hammer. And if I hadn't been there at all the GHB would have made her a vegetable or killed her itself. All of that on top of her being raped by one or both of them, possibly multiple times. It was pretty much my worst nightmare. "Well you're welcome." She didn't say anything else and she looked like she was eyeing the door; I was not in any way ready for her to leave. "So I guess I finally made good on that promise."

She looked confused for a second. "What promise?"

"That I'd always be there for you and always help you."

And then she smiled, the most genuine smile I'd seen from her in a long time. "Yeah, I guess you did."

It was about that time that I realized we had been standing there like that for almost a half hour so I pointed at the couch. "Did you want to sit down or something? Did you want a drink? Something to eat?"

She looked uneasy again but answered quickly. "No. I mean… I don't know. Maybe…um." She paused, I figured to get her thoughts together and then she finally took a step towards me. I stayed where I was though, not wanting to scare her off. "You didn't come see me."

I looked down feeling slightly ashamed, should I have tried harder? "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, it's not that I didn't want to, I really really did. But you were just surrounded and considering how we are during times like that, I was afraid it would raise too many questions. I was keeping tabs on you though. The hospital was keeping me up to date and believe it or not Vinnie made himself useful for once in his wretched life by giving me a play by play." She gave me a funny look and I knew what she was going to ask. "I don't have any idea how he knew. I'm beginning to wonder if he has some kind of a super power like invisibility or shape shifting. It's the only explanation that makes any sense since he is the shittiest PI to ever walk the earth." She laughed and I smiled at her. "Plus, well, I figured that your dad and Logan wouldn't be letting you out of their sight, I know how they get. I'm actually surprised that you aren't at home right now or at The Grand, it's almost midnight. Your boyfriend is probably worried sick."

And then the expression on her face changed. "Actually, Logan and I broke up."

And cue the balloons and champagne, seriously I could have thrown a fucking party. But I kept the excitement from my face, just because I was thrilled, didn't mean that she was. Plus the excitement turned to shock pretty fucking quick, was he crazy? How could he ever let her go? He loved her, I knew that for sure, I didn't get it, but I also highly doubted it would last long; he'd be on his hands and knees in a few days trying to crawl back to her. "Oh, really? When? Why?"

The expression on her face still gave nothing away but her tone was a little solemn. "The day we caught the rapist." I didn't miss that 'we' she threw in there and it about shocked the hell out of me. "He decided that he couldn't take me being in danger all the time. It hurt too much and if he waited and didn't do it now that the pain would be unbearable later, and now it wouldn't be as bad. I understood, it's not easy to be with someone that seems to be a constant danger magnet, but it still hurt, I didn't even see it coming, I probably should have but I didn't. He feels terrible now of course, you know since I almost died that night."

I could completely relate with him. Her talent of attracting trouble was something I'd always had a hard time with, but I never would have left her for it. "So I guess you'll be back together in no time." Please say no, please say no, is what my mind was saying but I knew I shouldn't hold my breath.

"No." Huh? "Well not right now...not for awhile...maybe ever. I guess that's the thing…."

She stopped and I was beyond confused. "What's the thing?"

"You know when you asked what I wanted, if I wanted to sit or something to drink?" I nodded and she continued. "Well I don't think I really know what I want. I mean I know that I'm not ready for anything big. But the thing is that I don't really think I hate you anymore, well not like I did. And well, you listened and you helped me, you didn't doubt me and you saved me. And I think that maybe I trust you again a little. But I don't really know what to do about all of that. And when you didn't come to see me I was upset because you weren't there and I didn't like that. I guess that what it comes down to is that I don't know what I want and that's why I'm here."

Ok, so some of that made sense, she kinda trusts me and kinda doesn't hate me anymore, she's not getting back with Logan anytime soon and she doesn't know what she wants. Hmmmm, ok, yep, still confused. "What are you trying to say Veronica?"

She turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes then. "What if I said that I wanted you?"

And my jaw hit the fucking floor. Did I hear that right? Did my Veronica Mars finally say she wanted me? Me? Don Lamb? Sheriff, Don Lamb? There. Is. A. God.

When I didn't answer her straight away she began to look nervous, averted her gaze and then she started running her mouth. "I mean I can't guarantee anything. Especially how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day...And for all I know it might only be tonight but I think it's what I want right now...And if you want me to leave just say so. If you don't want me anymore I understand and I know that the fact that I don't really know what I want is an issue. And it probably won't change anything but…"

As she had been talking I'd crossed the room without her realizing it and the minute I was within reaching distance of her I yanked her into my arms and fused my mouth to hers.

When I pulled back she was already breathing hard and I cupped her face with my hands and pulled it up so she could see me. "Whether it be 1 minute, 1 hour, day, week, month or year I'll take it Mars. I will take anything you are willing to give me."

And then she smiled and reached up planting her lips on mine again. "I was hoping that was what you would say."

I didn't waste any more time as I reached down, picked her up and carried her to my bedroom. I set her down gently on the bed and when I moved to kiss her she moved away from me. I was worried for about .5 seconds until she pushed me into a sitting position on the bed and stood right in front of me. I went to reach for her but she grabbed my hands and kissed me before setting them down on either side of me. She smiled at me, I smiled back immediately and boy did that smile widen when I saw her hands reach for the buttons on her shirt.

I watched intensely and excitedly as she unbuttoned her shirt one button at a time and then slowly shrugged it off of her shoulders letting it drop to the floor, her tank following. It was the slowest, sexist and most fucking amazing strip tease I had ever seen and I knew that it was plainly obvious to her that I was enjoying it. She'd snuck a peak a few times I was sure.

After she shimmied out of her skirt she reached around to undo her bra and I stopped her by grabbing her hands, she looked at me and nodded. I reached my own arms around her and unclasped the lacy material watching it fall from her body I swear in slow motion. And then I took in a deep breath because I realized that my dreams were coming true, I had my Veronica Mars, in **my** bedroom, ready for **me**, wanting **me **and with only a little piece of blue lace between us. Between me and my own personal heaven.

I reached my arms around her and pulled her to me, kissing her stomach lightly and running my hands over her backside. She shivered and I smiled against her skin. I pushed her back a little so I could see her face and when she looked down at me and straight into my eyes, I slid my hand inside her panties gliding my fingers over her wet folds. She threw her head back and gasped and I really don't know how I didn't cum right then and there. But I focused on her and when I slid my hand in a little further, inserting two fingers into her warmth, Veronica made a soft mewling noise that made my cock twitch and my mouth water.

I wanted to see her, I was more than ready to see her. Without warning I removed my fingers from her and she let out a sigh of frustration from the loss but I smiled up at her, kissed her belly again and brought my hands to the band of her panties, sliding them over her hips and down her legs to her feet. When she stepped out of them I quickly kicked them under my bed hoping she wouldn't notice and when I looked back at her I could barley breath. There she was in all her naked glory, my Veronica Mars. The woman I loved. The woman I was finally going to have.

She smiled at me and tilted her head, I could only assume it was her way of saying 'touch me moron, I'm naked for a reason.' So I did, happily.

I moved one of my hands around her to rest on her ass, the other between her legs returning the two fingers to her now dripping wet core and focusing my lips on her smooth stomach and breasts. I worked her with my fingers for awhile and then moved my thumb over her clit pressing down slightly. Her breathing was labored and I could feel her walls contracting and just as she was about to the edge, I removed my thumb. She moaned and I smiled against her belly button.

I could feel her legs shaking so I pulled her closer to me and then turned her, placing her on her back on the bed, her butt at the edge of the mattress and her legs dangling off the side. I moved over her slightly and she smiled at me. She reached for me but I moved away dropping to my knees next to the bed and between her legs. I leaned over her body, pulling a taut nipple into my mouth and then moving to the other, leaving a long trail of wet kisses down her beautiful tiny body. Her breath hitched when I reached her soft patch of curls and there was no way I could miss the smile on her face when I rubbed my index finger against her sensitive nub.

Not wanting to prolong her pleasure anymore I finally lowered my mouth and placed a soft kiss on her center. She moaned and I flicked my tongue against her once before licking a stripe from her opening to her clit. Her back arched off of the bed and she gasped. "Oh my god!"

I smiled again and used my right hand to spread her lips, quickly sliding my tongue inside of her causing her to moan loudly again. Seriously the greatest night ever. She tasted better than I'd imagined she would and she was so fucking tight and wet, wet for me no less. I thought for a second that maybe that guy's bullet had killed me, because there was no other way this was really happening.

She writhed against me as I moved my left thumb back to her bundle of nerves and continued my ministrations with my tongue. This time when I felt her walls contract I quickly thrust my fingers into her and moved my lips to her clit, sucking it into my mouth and biting it lightly. Within seconds her back was bowed, her legs were draped over my shoulders and she was bucking her hips against my face and hand and practically screaming my name as pleasure over took her.

I continued moving my fingers in and out and lapping up her juices as she came down from her high and when her breathing steadied, I stood up, took her legs and swung her around on the bed so she was lying completely on it. Her eyes never left mine as I pulled a condom out of my night table drawer and joined her on the bed. I reached down and kissed her lightly, smiling as I pulled back and she smiled too, I think more in anticipation than anything.

I gently grabbed her thighs and spread her legs as I moved between them and lowered myself onto her. I kissed her, trailing my lips from hers, back to her perfect breasts again, massaging one with my hand the other my tongue. Her breathing was ragged again and I was pretty sure I was going to explode soon; I needed to be inside her, had to be inside her.

I brought my mouth back to hers and then rested back on my heels. She watched me with bated breath as I removed the towel from my waist and her mouth dropped, actually fucking dropped, when she saw what was underneath. Talk about a fucking ego boost. I smiled proudly and watched her squirm a little as I ripped the condom package open, before I could put it on though I felt her tiny hand take it from me and the next thing I knew she was rolling it down my rock hard cock and I was groaning her name.

I threw my head back enjoying the feeling of her pumping me lightly and then looked back down at her, I needed her, wanted her, and I was done waiting. I removed her hand from me and lowered myself again placing myself at her entrance. I pressed into her a little and she gasped as I took her lips. I stayed there for a few moments, only the tip of my dick inside of her and trading soft kisses before moving my lips to her ear. And as I whispered three words "I love you" I thrust myself inside of her. She let out a scream that rocked me to my fucking core and coiled her legs around my hips. I brought my lips back to hers and stayed still for a few moments, allowing her to get used to the feel of me. And when she started shifting underneath me I took it as her sign that she was ready and began moving, finding a rhythm quickly.

She felt so good, better than I ever imagined, so warm and tight, fucking perfect, there was no other way to describe it. And in that moment she was mine. All mine. The way it always should have been. "God, you are so fucking beautiful."

Her arms moved around my neck and pulled me in for another kiss which I happily allowed and then I looked in her eyes, making sure she remembered who the man inside of her was. When she smiled back at me I almost lost it. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer, I was practically shaking from the pleasure of being inside of her, too many years of wishing for her and imagining that very moment was making my control slip.

I removed one of her legs from my waist, kissing every inch of it I could reach as I hooked it over my shoulder changing the angle of penetration and Veronica's eyelids fluttered as she let out a strangled cry. "Don!"

It just spurred me on and I slid my other hand between our sweat slicked bodies and pinched her clit between my fingers. She began to moan and soon the room was filled with our voices, both of us crying out from the impending pleasure. "Come on baby, I want you to cum, cum with me. Please." With one last thrust I pushed us both over the edge and choked out her name, at the same time as she gasped mine.

I fell onto her in exhaustion and pleasure, resting my head against her breasts for a moment or two and then taking her lips again. We laid there like that for several minutes, me softening inside of her and trading passionate kisses, before I finally rolled off of her, removed the spent latex and pulled her to me, kissing her lovingly before her body curled against my side, her head on my chest.

I kissed the top of her head, pulled the covers over us and I laid there with her in my arms, both of us naked and happily sated. As her breathing steadied I thanked god, the pope and anybody else I could think of for the night. And before I joined her in sleep I kissed her temple and whispered in her ear. "I love you Veronica Mars."

I was half asleep and beyond coherent thought but I didn't miss the small voice that replied. "You too Deputy."

I slept better that night than I had in years. Dreaming of her like always, but having finally had her, the dreams were better than ever.

When I woke up the next morning I was alone in bed. She was gone and I wondered for a second if it had all been a dream. But it hadn't been, I knew it hadn't and I smiled as I reached under the bed and pulled a pair of lacy blue panties out.

I walked over to my dresser and placed them in the drawer with her bra and smiled to myself at the thought of her leaving my house panty-less and in a mini skirt no less.

I probably should have been upset that she just left me like that but I wasn't. How could I be? She hadn't promised me anything more than one night and I took it happily. I'd finally had her and I knew it wouldn't be the last time. And she knew that too.

I still had promises to keep after all.

* * *

1 year, 3 months , 26 days, 34 minutes and 1 second. Post 18th birthday and still counting

* * *

Thanks for reading! Review please!


	6. Chapter 6

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (6/10)  
Rating: NC-17 Note change in rating!  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise.

Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith (mentions of Logan/Veronica, Vinnie, Wallace and Mac)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 4249  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: More smut. And I really start messing with the timeline here. Just assume that anything involving the Dean's murder from episode 3x13 or 314 has not happened yet.

thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited this fic!

* * *

After the night I finally made love to her, I didn't see her for over a month.

I'd heard through the grapevine, or the Vinnie-vine however you want to look at it, that Veronica and her friends had gone with Logan to Aspen over their winter break. I guess Keith even joined them for a little over a week during Christmas and New Years.

I wasn't surprised that Logan and Veronica had gotten back together, I wasn't happy about it either, but my feelings didn't matter. Mainly because I wasn't worried.

I'd had her, finally, and I knew that she'd be back. There was no way she wouldn't, it might take some time but I was willing to wait. But regardless of my willingness to wait, I still missed her like crazy.

When classes restarted at Hearst that winter I found myself looking for reasons to go to the campus. I came up with just random things concerning the Dean's murder and scoured the school, hoping I'd catch even just a glimpse of her. Hell, by that point I would have been happy to see her in any capacity I missed her so much.

I couldn't get her out of my head, I had nothing but visions of her beneath me, around me, her beautiful naked body under my finger tips. I swear I couldn't go more than 10 minutes without thinking about how it had felt to be inside of her.

I got lucky a few times at the school and she even came into the police station once or twice a week, but we never had a chance to really talk, there was always someone else there or she was in a hurry, it was always all business. But I never missed the longing glances she gave me when she thought I wasn't looking or the way her eyes would linger on me a little too long. And I know she didn't miss mine, fuck, I'm not even sure her friends and my deputies missed mine it was so blatantly obvious.

It was about a week before Valentine's Day that I ran into Keith on campus. We exchanged pleasantries, something that had become actually normal for us in the previous few weeks. And I wasn't upset about that, the better things became with Keith and I, the more chances I had of getting back into Veronica's life, hopefully permanently. If he could forgive me, if we could mend our differences, that was one more hurtle between Veronica and I gone.

It was during that run in that I slipped up and asked about her. It just kind of came out. "So how's Veronica?"

He looked at me funny for a second and then answered me. I wasn't really expecting it, in all honesty I was pretty sure he was gonna shoot me for even mentioning her name. "She's good, got a clean bill of health after the attack. She's doing well, busy though, as always."

I was stunned for a second and then once again my mouth opened before I could stop it. "So her and Echolls are back together I hear."

And then he smiled knowingly, I would have had to been blind to miss it. And seriously….What the fuck was that about? He took a few seconds and once again I braced myself for a nasty comment or something at least a little less than friendly, you know like a bullet, and once again I was surprised. "No. I don't know where you heard that, but it's not true."

"Didn't she spend the holidays with him in Aspen?" God, what the fuck was my problem? I was yelling at myself to let it go. I did not want this man to know that my every thought was of his daughter and that most of the time she was naked in those thoughts. Nor did I want him to know that it was a detailed vision from personal experience.

He gave me another funny look. "They all went and purely as friends. He tried to get her back but she said no, apparently they've decided that they work better as friends anyways."

"So she's not dating anyone?" And again my brain was screaming; 'Fuck Don, shut the fuck up!'

"No, not that I know of." I couldn't stop the smile on my face. She was single; she hadn't gone back to him. What did that mean? Did she still want me? Was her leaving a fluke? If so, why hadn't she come back yet? "Why do you ask?"

Um, shit….."No reason, just….curious." Fuck, fuck ,fuck.

"Curious huh?" Keith tilted his head in a very Veronica-esque fashion and I knew it was my cue to hightail it the fuck out of there or lose a very important part of my anatomy. So I excused myself, politely…..and quickly.

He just watched me walk away with an amused look on his face and I was pretty sure that I was royally fucked. Did he know about my feelings? He hadn't murdered me on the spot so maybe that was a good sign, but I was not going to get my hopes up.

The only thing I knew for sure was that I was tired of waiting. I needed to talk to her, I needed to know what was going on with us, I needed to know why she hadn't come to see me lately and I needed a plan.

It was a week later on Valentine's Day that the perfect plan fell pretty much right into my lap. The cookies she made for the coach's kid were the perfect ploy. No one would be suspicious of ulterior motives, well at least not romantic ones, I could easily get her all to myself and there would be nothing she could do about it. The fact that it was Valentine's Day just made it 100 times better.

I mean there was no one else I'd want to spend it with.

And getting her in my handcuffs again was just an added bonus.

* * *

I'm not stupid. I know exactly why he arrested me and it had nothing to do with aiding and abetting (or I guess in my case it would be aiding and a-baking) a jail break.

My dad had told me about Lamb asking about me and I swear I'd nearly had a heart attack but he just laughed saying he thought it was interesting.

Interesting? What exactly did he mean by that?

But I didn't dwell on it. I had other things to worry about.

When Logan had tried to get back together with me I wanted to say yes but I couldn't, I loved him I really did, but I wasn't **in** love with him. He took it a lot better than I thought he would and in the end we both realized that while we were great together as a couple, we were even better as friends.

And with that out of the way…all I could think about was Don Lamb. How it had felt to sleep in his arms. How amazing he had been. How he had felt inside me. God, I'd had some long lonely nights where that memory was the only thing that got me through.

I really had no idea what to do, on top of school and the cases I had; I was trying to deal with my emerging and deepening feelings for him.

I'd only left the morning after because I was scared. I'd wanted to stay, my feelings hadn't changed, but that scared the shit out of me. I thought that after relieving the tension between us it would be easier, you know a little taste to tide me over until I could decide what I wanted for sure. But no, of course not. I wanted him more than anything, more than ever now.

My trust in him was almost completely renewed and I found myself not hating him really at all anymore. But the problem was the fact that he had still betrayed us and no matter how **I** felt, I couldn't do that to my dad. I couldn't betray him by loving and being with the man that turned his life upside down.

So I avoided him a little, making sure that when I did see him I was never alone and it was only for brief moments not long enough for him to say anything or to touch me, cuz god knows I'd be on top of his desk naked in less than 30 seconds if he did. There were a few stolen glances and longing looks from both of us but nothing more.

I also let him think I'd gotten back together with Logan. So when my dad told me he'd asked about Logan and me, I braced myself for something.

I knew he would find a way to get me alone and when he walked into my class on Valentine's Day to arrest me I almost laughed, well after I thanked god that I hadn't forgone shaving my legs and other body parts that morning, that is.

Of course, it was the perfect day and I'd unknowingly given him the perfect in. Fucking Josh, if I saw him again I'd smack the shit out of him.

When Lamb tossed me into the cell and undid my cuffs I felt his hand slide over my butt slowly, I shuddered a little and I knew he'd caught it. He left the cell, turned giving me the shittiest fucking grin I'd ever seen and I'll be damned if that didn't make me want to just jump him right then and there.

Cliff was trying hard to get me out of there but Lamb was apparently intent on holding me as long as possible and if I was being honest, I wasn't too upset that Cliff had been unsuccessful. It just meant I had a whole night with my favorite Deputy to look forward to. I spent the day pretending to be mad and trying to entertain myself. Wallace, Logan and Mac came to see me for a little while and my dad came a couple of times but that was it.

By midnight that night, I was alone in the cell and the only one in the ladies cell block. And then there he was, walking in the door to lock up, locking it behind him, pulling the blinds down on the window in the door and smiling at me.

I walked up to the bars and smiled back as he leaned in close to me. "God, you look good in there Mars, maybe I should keep you in there. You couldn't get away from me then. You'd be all mine."

I laughed. "I'm in jail Lamb, that doesn't make me yours." He was so close to me and he smelled so good, I could actually feel myself getting wet just from his proximity to me. Fuck, there was no sense in denying it anymore. I. Wanted. Him.

Oh and he knew it too, he moved away from me to the door and pulled out his keys. "I beg to differ, my jail, my lock up, my prisoner. That makes you mine Mars, all mine."

As he opened the cell door he pulled off his night stick and gun, placed them on the ground with his keys and sauntered towards me.

"Maybe. But arresting me on Valentine's Day? That's kinda low don't you think?" He was only a foot in front of me then. "You better have a really good present for me Deputy."

He smirked at me again and closed the distance between us. The next thing I knew I was in his arms and pressed up against the bars, my legs wrapping around him and he was sucking on my pulse point. I moaned in response and his hand came up to my breast as he whispered in my ear. "That's the plan Mars, I'm gonna give you the best, the biggest, present you've ever gotten." He emphasized 'the biggest' by bucking his hips into me and then he continued. "It being Valentine's Day is just a bonus. You're the only one I wanted to spend it with anyways."

I closed my eyes, reveled in his touch and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "God, I've missed you."

He pulled back a little and smiled. "'I've missed you too Mars."

* * *

I really thought it was going to be harder. Boy was I surprised.

She was way more receptive to me than I'd thought she would be and I was definitely gonna take advantage of it.

She was still fully clothed and I could already smell her arousal. And the thought of fucking her, making love to her in my own fucking lock up was making me harder than I ever had been before.

I had her pressed against the bars, her legs wrapped around me and I kept kissing her, every inch of her face and neck, I wanted her to beg for it, beg for me, oh I'd gladly give it to her but I wanted her to tell me how bad she wanted me.

Within minutes she was ripping her shirt over her head and I sucked in a hard breath when I realized she wasn't wearing a bra, if didn't know better I would have thought she'd gotten dressed that morning with this in mind.

I immediately moved my hands to her breasts and she arched into my touch. "God, Lamb!"

I claimed her mouth again smiling against her lips. "Does that feel good Veronica? Tell me it feel s good."

I bucked my hips against her and she gasped. "Yes! So good."

She reached for my shirt then and instead of patiently unbuttoning it, she ripped it open, buttons flying, I didn't think it was possible to be any harder than I was but I was wrong. She pushed the ruined material off of my shoulders and ran her hands over my chest, leaving a trail of scorching hot flesh everywhere she went. God I needed to be inside her, we had all night and I was gonna make good use of that time together but I wasn't sure how much longer I could wait.

I pushed her legs down and she looked at me in surprise until I practically ripped open the button and zipper on her jeans and stood back yanking them down her legs.

She looked at me and she smiled. God she was so fucking beautiful. I was gonna fuck her harder and longer than anyone ever had before and when I was done, she'd never be able to be with anyone else, I was gonna ruin her for any other man. I reached my hand between her legs pushing her panties out of the way and shoved two fingers in her. Her head fall back and clanged against the bars, causing her to gasp in both pain and pleasure and I smirked again before kissing her. "Do you like that? Huh? Tell me Veronica, tell me what you want."

She didn't say anything just moaned as I increased my pace and quickly undid my belt and pants with my free hand letting them drop to the floor, my boxers joining them almost immediately. I put my free arm around her, lifting her out of the jeans pooled at her feet and let her legs wrap around me again before I thrust a third finger inside of her and moved my thumb to her clit. She let out a loud shriek. "Lamb, oh god!"

I wanted in her. Fuck, did I want her, but I still wanted to hear her beg. I bought my other hand to her face making her focus on me. "Look at me Veronica." She did through heavy lidded eyes, moaning and grinding against my hand. I kissed her hard and then reached down tearing her panties off of her and removing my fingers from her wet warmth.

She gasped again. "Don't stop."

I nuzzled against her neck and brought the tip of my cock to her entrance, rubbing it against her, teasing her. "What do you want Veronica? Do you want me? Do you want me inside you? I want to hear it."

I pressed against her clit and she groaned. "Oh god!"

"Come on baby."

I bit down on her nipple, sucking it into my mouth and slipping the tip of my dick into her slightly and that was all it took. "Oh god, fuck me! Fuck me Deputy! Please!"

I thrust into her hard and fast and her head hit the bars again but she didn't seem to care, the look on her face was pure ecstasy as she clung to the bars above her head, her knuckles turning white, as I slammed into her. She was cuming within seconds and screaming my name. "Don, ohhh, fuck, Donnie!"

God it felt so good. Having her up against the bars like that, it was like a million dreams come true, including the best one, me having her. Again and completely and with nothing between us, no barriers, just me inside of her. Within no time at all her walls were contracting again and I shoved my hand between us, rubbing her clit and sucking, biting on her breasts again. I pushed her over the edge a second time and immediately followed her. "God Veronica, I love you! I love you so fucking much."

As I leaned into her, still up against the bars I felt her fingers running through my hair and I smiled against her sweet, silky, sweaty skin. She was breathing hard and when I went to move away she wouldn't let go. "No, just stay...right here...please."

I looked up into her eyes and I saw nothing but love and I swear I almost cried. I kissed her, long and slow, loving the way she felt when she was naked against me, her walls still pulsing around me.

So we stayed like that, trading kisses and using our hands to explore each other's bodies, rediscovering each other, it may have only been months since the last time but it felt like years.

When she moved her legs a little I finally pulled out, stepped away and just stared. Flushed skin, matted hair, thighs still glistening from both of our releases. She had never been more beautiful.

When I looked back at her face she was smiling. "Best. Valentine's Day. Ever."

I laughed I couldn't help it. "It's not over yet."

She brought her hands up to her face like she was saying a prayer. "Thank god for that." I was immediately hard again and the next thing I knew I was on my back on the floor, she was sinking herself down on to me and I was clutching her hips like my life depended on it.

"Christ Mars." It was….well fuck… Absolutely mind-blowing.

By the time she finally bent over to grace my lips with hers I was ready to proclaim her goddess and supreme ruler of the United States of Don Lamb. "Holy shit! God you are so fucking amazing."

She smiled, obviously pleased with my reaction and she clawed her hands down my chest. "Do you love me?"

I nodded. "You know I do." She sat up and leaned back, changing the angle of penetration and I almost died it felt so good. I reached between us again and found her collection of nerves. She moaned and I smiled. "Are you gonna cum Mars?"

Back still bowed and hips still moving against mine I thrust my hips up hitting her cervix and she yelled. "Yes, fuck, please."

I sat up then, pulled her body against mine, kissed her hard and then clamped my other hand to the nape of her neck before hissing my next words in her ear. "Tell me you love me Mars. Tell me and I'll give you anything you want."

I pulled back and saw desire in her eyes again. She was so close I could feel it, she was just throbbing around my cock. "I love you."

Fuck, I was expecting a 'you too Deputy,' not that, not the real words and I just lost it. I threw her on her back and plunged into her with such force we actually slid a couple feet across the floor. She was moaning and writhing and nothing she was saying was coherent but it didn't matter. I'd already heard all I needed to hear and I drove into her, hitting her sweet spot over and over. She came twice in rapid succession and when I was ready to explode into her, I grabbed her legs pushed them around my waist and grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head before claiming her lips again. "I love you too." I thrust one last time hard and deep and she came apart around me as I spilled inside of her.

I bent down resting my forehead on her chest, trying to get my breath back and looked up at her smiling. She was panting and her eyes were closed, I don't think she'd ever experienced anything so pleasureful in her life. She didn't move at all, just let me hold her and caress her spent body. And when I was finally able to use my legs again I pulled her up and into my arms before carrying her over to the cot, laying her down and spooning myself behind her.

I looked up at the clock and smiled. We still had 5 hours before we had to worry about being disturbed and I wasn't going to waste any of it.

I let her sleep for awhile. Holding her to me and just enjoying the feeling of her in my arms, exactly where she was supposed to be. She loved me, she'd actually said it. She was mine and only mine, I knew it then, there was no denying it anymore. It was only a matter of time before nothing was in our way anymore.

After almost two hours of her sleeping soundly in my arms, I felt her stir and leaned over her to kiss her, she smiled at me and returned it with equal fervor. As my hand reached between her legs and toyed with her once again soaked center she shuddered against me and I smiled.

There was no way she would ever forget this night, no way in hell. But just to make sure... I pulled her leg over mine and removed my hand from her, entering her from behind and she let out a contented sigh as I kissed her shoulder, working my way to her neck. My hands were encircling her waist, holding her against me and she slid her hands over mine, intertwining our fingers as I made love to her slowly this time, lovingly. And when we both came I turned her in my arms and held her tightly to my chest, kissing her like I hadn't felt her lips against mine in years. When her breathing regulated she pushed me onto my back and crawled on top of me, draping her body over mine and smiling. I brought my hand to her cheek and smiled back. "What?"

She blushed a little and I almost laughed, I'd just spent the better part of the last 4 hours inside of her and she was blushing. Fuck I loved this woman. "Thank you."

I looked at her a little confused. "God Mars, you, **do not** need to thank me. It was beyond my pleasure, if I could spend the rest of my life inside of you I would. You know that."

She blushed again and hid her face in the crook of my neck. "No, not for that….well not **just** for that."

"What then?" I pushed her back up again so she was in a sitting position and I ran my hands over her body, stopping over her lush breasts and kneading them in my hands.

He voice was full of arousal when she spoke. "For keeping your promises."

I smiled and sat up, pulling her legs around me and holding her close, my arms around her. "I don't break my promises Mars; you should know that by now. And I don't intend to start anytime soon. This definitely won't be the last time I kiss you and if I have anything to say about it…We are gonna have this, you and me, a lot more and for a very long time. You're mine Mars, you better get used to it."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss me. "I think I can deal with that."

We laid there together for a little while longer, made love once more that morning and then we both got dressed, me putting on the extra shirt I was glad I'd brought in there earlier and sneaking her torn panties into my pocket while she wasn't looking. It wasn't like they were gonna do her much good anyways. We laid back down then and just enjoyed the feeling of being in the other's arms.

By 7:15 I was back in my office and by 9 Cliff and Keith were there to take her home.

I smiled at her as she left and she winked at me.

She was mine, she was all I needed and after that night, I knew she knew it too and that she felt the same way.

It was just a matter of time, I just had to wait.

* * *

1 year, 6 months, 9 hours, 3 minutes and 14 seconds. Post 18th birthday

* * *

Thanks for reading! review please!


	7. Chapter 7

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (7/10)  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise.

Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb (mentions of Keith)  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 4581  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: More smut like a lot more. And it really got away from me this time so its pushes the boundaries of how far I would normally go with smut situations. Also the AU timeline continues here and I have a completely AU Lamb event occurring in this chapter.

thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited this fic! and a special thanks to Sweetpea2100 for giving me an opinion on a small section from this chapter!

* * *

Two days after Valentine's Day we received a tip that the Fitzpatricks had a new trafficking operation going on at a warehouse on the city limits.

We raided the place and found more than we were expecting, not only was there an ample amount of meth, there was also an ample amount of Fitzpatricks. There was a standoff and then shots were fired and by the end of it, 4 of them were dead and so was 1 of us.

It was a hard night, the deputy I lost was someone that had been around since Keith's days and had at one time been a friend to me. He'd remained loyal to Keith and had only stayed on the force to support his family. We never really butted heads but it was always very clear to me that he didn't like the person I'd become. I regretted that he never got to see the real me again, the me that Veronica was bringing back out.

After finishing the needed paperwork and going to his house to notifying his family, which was a particularly hard thing to do, I returned to the station completely drained and slouched back in my office chair. My mind immediately went to her; she'd been there all day of course, especially when the bullets were flying. But now she was the prominent thought.

It had only been two days since I'd seen her but it felt like forever and the fact that I hadn't even heard from her was bugging me. In truth I was a little worried that she'd been avoiding me, maybe that night hadn't meant as much to her as it had to me. I was sure that I was wrong though, there was no way. I'd felt something that night, she'd finally opened up to me, completely let me in, let me really love her, not just for the one night like before, that night was the beginning of something, I knew it and refused to believe otherwise. A relationship may still have been far in the future but it was building up. She was mine, maybe not officially yet, but her heart and her body belonged to me. She just needed to face it.

I left work that night, thinking about her, needing to see her as usual and really seriously considering making a surprise trip to her house. I spent the entire drive thinking up excuses to be there or arrest her, anything to way lay any suspicions there might be if Keith was there. But nothing came to me and when I was less than a block away I turned around and headed home instead. I just needed to be patient, she would come to me, I just needed to have faith.

When I got to my front door I went to unlock it and the knob just turned. Had I forgotten to lock it? I was sure I hadn't forgotten, but my mind had been pretty occupied lately by the miniature Mars so it was very possible that I hadn't. But still I wasn't sure so I grabbed my gun from its holster and slowly opened the door ready for anything that maybe behind it.

The minute I entered the apartment the gun went down and something else came up.

Veronica was sitting on my kitchen counter, wearing nothing but an apron and a pair of lacy black panties with matching garter belt and stockings. Words failed me completely and I just stared.

It was official; I was the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth….and on Mars.

* * *

I was not avoiding him….

Ok….so maybe I was.

But it was only because I didn't know what to say to him.

I definitely wanted him that was obvious. And it was also obvious that no one else would ever make me feel as good, or as happy, or as loved as he did/does. And that night in lock up, wow that sounds weird, but anyways, that night meant so much to me. It was like the end of the beginning or the beginning of the beginning or something like that. Like whatever was going to happen with us, that was the starting point, the kick off.

But as much as it had meant to me, I just wasn't sure I was ready to face the firing squad. My friends I could handle, but my dad...he was going to be a problem.

And then there was still the fact that I wasn't 100% sure that I was even ready for him. My heart and my body definitely belonged to him, but… wanting, needing, belonging and loving is way different than ready and able.

So anyways there I was, lying on the couch, having a déjà-fuck. Basically reliving the nights I'd spent with him and really wishing that it was his hands exploring me and not just my imagination creating the sensations, when the news report came on. I sat up straight and almost stopped breathing when they mentioned a police officer had been killed. My heart started to ache and I couldn't breathe, I started praying to god that it wasn't him and I felt terrible when they mentioned the name of the dead officer because it was someone I'd known since I was 9 years old and there I was happy that it hadn't been Lamb.

I got up from the couch and ran to my room to get dressed. I really considered going to the station to make sure he was ok, but I didn't want to raise any suspicions so I decided I'd just go over to his apartment and if he wasn't home yet, I'd wait for him. Maybe make him dinner, he'd had a hard day, he deserved it.

I changed into a new underwear set I'd bought on a whim while I was in Aspen, grabbed a few things from the kitchen including my apron, for some reason I thought he'd get a kick out of seeing me so domestic, and headed on over there.

When I got there, just as I'd figured, he wasn't home, so I pulled out my key and let myself in.

Yes, that's right, I had a key, had it for going on 5 years. He didn't know of course but that didn't matter, he'd find out in good time. I started looking through his cupboards and fridge and found nothing, so I sat down on his couch resting my head back and trying to decide what to do. And then my apron caught my eye.

I have to say I was really pretty proud of myself. It was probably one of the naughtier plans to ever come out of my scheming brain where Don Lamb was concerned.

* * *

She smiled, jumped off the counter, walked towards me and closed the still open door before pressing herself against me from behind and running her hands over my chest and stomach. I tensed for a split second wondering if maybe this was all in my imagination and then I relaxed completely, just melting into her touch. I grabbed her arms and pulled her around to face me capturing her lips quickly and roughly.

When we broke apart she stepped away and jumped back onto the counter spreading her legs slightly and I stepped between them running my hands up her thighs, then sides and then around her petite body to pull her close.

I was in no way unhappy to see her, but I was a little curious as to why she was there, ok so I knew **why**, obviously, but **how** did she get in and **what** made her decide to come over in the first place. I cupped the back of her head and kissed her deeply before voicing my question. "To what do I owe this honor Mars?"

She arched her back as I brought one of my hands to her right breast and sighed a little before responding. "Well, I was lying on the couch, all alone. And suddenly all I could think about were your hands on me." She grabbed the hand on her breast at brought it to her lips kissing each finger before sliding two of them into her mouth and sucking on them. I closed my eyes and groaned from the feeling. By the time she let go of my hand I was ready to flip her over, rip her panties off and pound her into next week. But I, refrained, and she, continued. "I just couldn't get it off of my mind so I thought, hmmm, maybe I'll go over there and see if he wants a little dinner and then some dessert." She winked when she said dessert and I felt myself getting even harder. I knew there was more to it though, she had that look, the one that said 'I was worried.' I realized that she had probably heard about the incident at the warehouse, but if she wasn't going to bring it up, I wouldn't make her. So I focused on her voice and her body again. "When I got here, you weren't home, but your door was unlocked, you've really got to stop doing that you know. You never know what kind deviant could try to get in here Deputy."

I laughed. "Well if the deviant is a half naked Veronica Mars I'm never locking this door again." I glided my fingers under the hem of the apron, lightly tweaking a nipple and she shuddered. "You look fucking amazing."

She giggled and pushed me away a little. "You like? When you weren't here I thought I'd make dinner for you, have it waiting for you when you got home, but alas there was nothing in your cupboards or fridge."

I snickered a little and tried to move towards her again but she pressed her foot against my chest and held me back. "I've been a little preoccupied."

She nodded and lowered her foot. "Figured. But anyways, it gave me an even better idea."

I was burning up, I wanted her so fucking bad and all this teasing was beginning to get to me. Something needed to happen and soon. "And this idea would be?"

She reclined back on the counter resting on her elbows and forearms, causing her chest to stick out and she spread her legs a little wider. "I thought you could have me for dinner."

I let out a predatory growl and advanced on her, grabbing her left foot and kissing every inch from her toes to her knee. "Well you do look good enough to eat baby."

She smirked. "That's what I was hoping you'd say." She reached behind her and untied the apron leaving the material loose against her body, pulled the strap around her neck over her head and then, in a painfully slow action, she pushed the whole thing off of her exposing her naked upper body to me. With her left leg still in my hands I leaned over and pressed against her, kissing her fiercely and kneading her right breast with my free hand.

She pushed me back and tilted her head. "You're a little over dressed for this dinner, don't you think Donnie?"

She did not need to tell me twice. I let go of her leg and she stayed in her reclined position watching me as I quickly rid myself of my clothing. Once I was down to my boxers I pressed against her kissing her again before standing up and walking away. She sat up looking surprised. "What..?"

I turned and smirked at her as I grabbed a chair from my kitchen table and placed it in front of her. I sat down and grabbed both of her legs, hooking them over my shoulders, it was the perfect height. I leaned forward breathing in her arousal and we both shuddered as I placed my hands on her hips sliding them over her silky skin, down the outside of her thighs and then under her pulling her closer to the edge of the counter, cupping her ass with my hands.

She was breathing heavy in anticipation and I decided I'd made her wait long enough, with my right hand I moved her panties out of the way and slid one finger over her opening. She let out a breathy "Lamb" and I smiled before dipping my head further between her thighs. While spreading her with one hand and laving at her wet folds with my tongue I used the other to rub light circles over her clit. She started moaning and writhing against me as I continued to lap, lick and bite her. When I pinched her nub between my fingers she dropped from her elbows and shrieked. "Oh god! Oh god!"

And as I continued she tried to pull away, the pleasure to intense, but I wouldn't allow it, I grabbed her ass holding her against my face as I continued pleasurefully torturing her over sensitized body. Every time she tried to move away I pressed my tongue against her harder and deeper. She was thrashing on the counter, grabbing onto the edge, grasping for purchase and begging me to let her cum. "Don please, ohhh god!" So I moved my mouth to her clit, bit her lightly and she went over the edge.

Her back bowed, her hands grasped the side of my head holding me to her and I smiled against her wet pussy as I returned my fingers to her throbbing center working her into another frenzy as soon as her first orgasm ebbed. I forced my fingers further into her, harder into her and she moaned loudly. "Don! Donnie! God, I'm gonna cum!" With my lips still attached to her swollen clit and my fingers twisting inside of her, trailing over her sweet spot, I pushed her into ecstasy a second time. "Fuck, Deputy!"

This time when she started to come down she fell back against the counter and I stood up, bent over her and kissed her softly as her arms circled my neck and she brought me closer. I knew she could taste herself on my lips and the look on her face as I pulled away doubled the desire I was feeling for her.

I pulled her legs around my waist and slid my arms under her body, bringing her up from the counter. She wrapped herself around me tight as I held her with one hand under her butt, the other around her waist and I sat back down on the chair with her.

She leaned back from my grip and moved on my lap so that she was balancing herself on my knees. "Did you enjoy your dinner Deputy?"

I laughed whole heartedly and cupped her face with my hand. "Best. Dinner Date. Ever."

She leaned in to kiss me. "I agree."

I felt her hands on my chest then, trailing downwards under the band of my boxer briefs and I took in a sharp breath when her fingers dipped inside and grazed the tip of my aching cock. I looked into her eyes, she smiled at me and I was beyond ready to be inside her. I grabbed her, kissing her hard and fast as I pushed up from the chair. Her eyes grew wide with surprise when I tossed her onto the table and then stood back ripping her panties off of her.

She looked at me almost incredulously. "You know, if you keep doing that I'm not going to have any underwear left."

I smirked evilly and stretched my body over hers. "Good, it's not like you need them with me around anyway."

She smiled and let out a little squeak when I grasped her breast, pinching her nipple between my fingers. When I pulled back and away from her she sat up in confusion. I grabbed my pants from the floor and pulled a condom out of the pocket (I'd started keeping some on me just in case since the night she came to me in December) and as she watched I dropped my underwear, ripped open the package and slid the rubber over my dick.

There was no waiting this time. When I got back to her I put my hand on her chest, pushed her down onto the table, grabbed her knees spreading her legs and I entered her in one swift motion, hard and fast.

I groaned from the feel of her around me and started pumping in and out, hard and fast, my fingers digging into her pale skin, which was sure to be bruised from the pressure. With my hands still holding her knees, I pulled her to me every time I plunged forward, hitting her g-spot and cervix on every hard thrust. She cried out in pleasure every time and so did I.

Up until that point, I didn't think anything could be sexier than my Veronica Mars naked with me inside of her, but I was wrong. Because when her tiny hand slid its way between her breasts and down her stomach to where we were joined, I almost died. I imprinted the sight on my brain so I'd never forget it and I groaned. "God baby girl, so fucking hot."

She smiled, her lips parted slightly when her fingers reached their destination and when she whimpered, I increased my pace, plowing into her as we both sought to pleasure her. And when she tumbled over into ecstasy, the walls of her pussy clutched me, tugged on me and kept me deep inside of her as I came with a shout. "Veronica!"

I collapsed against her for a few seconds before standing and gathering her spent body in my arms.

I brought her to the couch and set her down as I walked to the bathroom to rid myself of the condom and grab a couple more from the cabinet.

When I came back she was lying on her side staring at me. I set the condoms on the coffee table and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch, covering her with it before lying down and joining her under the cover.

I pulled her tight against my chest and I felt her lips against my skin, little featherweight kisses, peppering my chest and neck as I ran my hands through her hair and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you came over."

"Really? I never would have known." She replied her voice laced with sarcasm.

I brushed the hair from her face and laughed before kissing her. "Well not **just** for that. Although, that was probably one of the best surprises I've ever gotten. "

She looked up at me smiling with a still thoroughly sated look on her face. "Well good because it's definitely one of the best ones I've ever given. What's the other reason?"

I brought my hand to her face and caressed her cheek with my thumb. "I missed you." She gave me a funny look. "I know it's only been two days since I've seen you, but I miss you every day, all day. And after the other night, well it just made me miss you more."

She sighed a little and averted her eyes. "I missed you too. But..."

I knew what she was going to say, I knew better than to think that her coming to me like this meant that she was ready, but every step she took just brought her closer and that was what mattered. "You're not ready are you?"

She looked back at me and seemed sad. "No…I don't know. I mean we still have so much to deal with. My dad. My friends. The whole fucking town. Everyone is going to weigh in some kind of opinion and I just don't know if I'm ready for that. I know that I love you." My heart swelled with those words. "And that I want to be with you eventually. But I think I just need more time. And even then…I just can't guarantee you anything Lamb. I'm sorry, I don't want to do this to you. You've made what you want so clear and I think I know what I want but there are still doubts in my mind and I just can't do that to you, or me. I need to know for sure."

There were tears in her eyes so I leaned in and kissed her quickly. "I understand, and until you're able to give me everything, I'll take whatever you **can** give me. I love you Veronica, and just the fact that you love me in return is enough."

She smiled. "Promise?"

I nodded. "You know it. I'll just add it to my list of promises concerning you."

She smiled, sat up a little and I moved onto my back as she slid her body over mine, propping her head on her hands that were now laying across my chest. "And those promises would be?"

I ran my fingers up and down her spine making her shiver. "Like you don't know."

She slithered further up my body and kissed my nose. "Yeah, but I want to hear them"

Who was I to deny this beautiful girl? So I started spouting them off. "I promise to kiss you Veronica, every chance I get." She sat up and my hands went to her breasts.

"And?"

"And I promise that you and I are gonna have this, you and me, like this. As much as is humanly possible. Just you and me, no one else."

I watched as she leaned over and grabbed a condom from the coffee table and ripped it open. "Anything else?"

I nodded and smiled as she reached behind her and her hand found my cock. "I promise that I will always be there for you, will always help you and always love you."

I groaned as her hand rolled the condom down my hard length. "Hmm, that last part's new isn't it?"

"Yeah, I figured it was time to amend that one."

She laughed and rose up on her knees placing her entrance over me. "I like it, but you forgot one."

I wanted in her so bad that I was having a hard time concentrating suddenly. "Really?"

She looked at me seriously then. "You can't ever die." And then she lowered herself, enveloping me inside of her and we both gasped.

"Never, never baby, I will never leave you." I sat up, wrapped my arms around her as her hips rocked against me and held her tightly as I whispered in her ear. "I love you Veronica Mars."

She turned her face connecting her lips with mine. "You too Deputy."

I pulled her tighter, thrusting up to meet her hips every time they came down. She arched back and my mouth found her breasts, alternating between the two, sucking and licking, biting her hard perfect pink nipples. With one arm still cradling her back I moved the other down, my hand grasping her ass cheeks hard and she let out a moan as I smiled against her skin.

She was sopping wet, from both our current and earlier exploits and I ran my finger between her cheeks spreading her lips from behind as I moved within her and she started panting from the extra stimulation as I trailed her wetness backwards. When my finger first made contact with the puckered skin of her other opening she was startled and froze for a second. But as I rubbed lightly, gently, she began to relax and when I dipped the tip of my finger inside, she brought her upper body back to mine crushing my lips to hers.

I kept it there, barely inside and only moving slightly, just enough to drive her crazy and it definitely had the desired effect …for both of us. Her movements became more erratic, she started mumbling incoherently and my mind was blurred with the increasing pleasure. I whispered in her ear again. "Are you ready to cum Veronica?" She didn't say anything, just moaned so I pressed my finger in a little further. "Are you?"

She choked out the words. "Yes, more." I smiled triumphantly as I twisted my finger slightly. "God, oh god! Don't stop!"

I could feel her walls contracting and I was there too, I was so ready. So as I took her right nipple between my teeth, I pressed my finger the rest of the way in and pleasure erupted throughout her body. She fused her lips to mine, her entire body shook against me and she leaned back, pressing my dick and finger further into her. "Oh fuck! Deputy, so good!" The sound of her words and the feel of her body pushed me into my own release and I clung to her. "God I love you baby! You feel so fucking good!"

I fell back on the couch in exhaustion bringing her with me. I slid out of her, unceremoniously tossed the used condom on the floor, held her against my chest and she reached up to kiss me once before laying back down and we both fell asleep.

I woke up a couple hours later to find that I still had a naked Veronica Mars draped over my body. I tried not to wake her as I moved to get up and carry her to bed, but before I'd even stood she was stirring in my arms.

She kissed me lightly and when I got us to the bed I laid her down. She was still wearing the garter belt and stockings, so I slowly removed them so she would be more comfortable. She just watched, smiling the whole time and then she moved onto her side. I spooned in behind her, throwing an arm over her waist and kissing her neck.

"I have to go soon."

I sighed. "I know. I wish you didn't, but I know you have to."

I felt her grab my hand and interlace our fingers. "Will you do me a favor?"

I nuzzled my nose in her hair taking in the moment. "Anything, you know that."

"Make nice with my dad."

I don't know what I was expecting, but I definitely wasn't expecting that. But god, that was the best thing she ever could have said. It was her way of saying; 'I'm yours, now make it happen.'

He was my biggest hurtle and she wanted me to get past it.

I moved her hair from her face and kissed her temple. "I'll try my best."

"You better."

I laughed a little and held her tighter. "I promise."

A couple hours later she got up and I followed her into the living room. I sat there and watched longingly as she got dressed, smiling when she handed me her ruined black panties. "For your collection."

I accepted them happily and pulled her to me, kissing her one last time before she walked out the door. When she got outside she turned to me with a guilty look on her face. "I don't know when I'll be able to come back. I'm really busy at school and…"

I stopped her with another kiss. "If you do, you do, if you can't, you can't. We'll find time eventually."

She smiled and kissed me again. "Love you Deputy."

"I love you more."

And then she was gone.

I went back to my room and laid in bed, the newest item of my Veronica Mars collection clutched in my hand, and smiled.

There was only one more thing in the way of us being together, I knew that for sure now; Keith.

I'd mend that bridge if it killed me.

1 year, 6 months, 2 days, 6 hours, 15 minutes and 42 seconds. Post 18th birthday.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Review please!

A/N 2: Anything from episode 3x13 dealing with the Dean's murder occurs between this chapter and the next chapter picks up in 3x14


	8. Chapter 8

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (8/10)  
Rating: R for language  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise.

Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 1276  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: This chapter brings us into 3x14

thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited this fic!

* * *

After Valentine's Day and the night Veronica and I spent together two days afterward, I started being nicer to Keith and even let him into the investigation of the Dean's murder.

In truth I was happy to have the assistance, he had a better rapport with the staff at Hearst than I did and having him involved was making things easier for me. But things weren't just good on a work level, personally our relationship was beginning to almost slightly resemble the one we had pre-Lilly's death. We'd started actually getting along almost and I was thrilled.

But for some reason I still couldn't shake the feeling that he knew I had ulterior motives. I'd always wondered if he knew how I felt about her when she was younger. Sometimes the way he'd smile at me or even just speak to me would raise my suspicions, but he never said anything and he never had a problem with her spending time alone with me. And let's be fair here, I was in my early to mid 20's and she was in her early to mid teens, so if he **had** known…well let's just say I'm surprised that I still had the equipment needed to make love to her like I had, now on more than one occasion.

But whether or not he knew didn't matter, because she was all that mattered. I was doing what she asked, I was keeping my promise and I was succeeding.

The next thing I knew it had been a month since Valentine's Day and I'd hardly seen her at all other than that one night at my apartment. I would only get to see her for a few seconds on days when she would bring both Keith and I, shocker, lunch. I never even had time to sneak out and steal a kiss, but it didn't matter, seeing her was enough and I knew it was only a matter of time before we were official. We were so close.

In fact it wasn't until the day we got a tip about Steve Botando that I saw her for more than a minute or two.

...

I'd walked into my office to grab my gun and she was sitting in my chair waiting for me, I'd smiled at her and she beamed at me.

I closed the door quickly and ran to her, pulling her into my arms and kissing her passionately as she wrapped her arms around me. "Hi, this is a nice surprise."

She smiled and kissed me again. "Thought you'd like it, I've missed you. Do you have a couple of minutes? I was hoping we could talk about..."

There was a knock at my door and we flew apart as it opened and Keith poked his head in. He looked only slightly surprised to see her there and caulked his head questioningly at Veronica before turning back to me. "Did you want some back up Don?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that would be great."

He nodded back. "Ok, I'll see you outside." He closed the door without a second glance and immediately she was back in my arms.

"You have to go don't you?"

I kissed her again. "Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. Come over tonight? We can talk then."

She nodded against my lips. "Ok, I'll be there waiting for you."

I laughed, she had a key, that made so much sense. "I knew I hadn't left that door unlocked."

She smiled impishly and moved back. "Be careful."

"I will."

She went to walk away but I grabbed her hand pulling her back to me. "Hey, I love you."

She giggled a little and kissed me, tugging on my bottom lip slightly. "You too Deputy."

I kissed her one last time before she left my office and I ran to catch up with her father.

...

I was distracted, all I had on my mind was Veronica and that last kiss we shared back in my office. Even Keith had noticed the fact that my head was in the clouds.

We'd just arrived at the house and had pulled over when he looked over at me and smiled. "She must be something really special."

I almost choked it caught me so off guard. I turned to him with a total deer in the headlights look and he just continued to smile at me. I had to remind myself that he didn't know who it was, just that it was **someone **and when I finally regained to ability to form words I just smiled. "Is it that obvious?"

He nodded and chuckled. "Yeah, it really is." He paused for a second and smirked. "Anyone I know?"

Fuck, I was actually pleading with my mouth to listen to my brain and just not say anything. But of course it didn't listen. "Um, yeah." Fuck. Great Don, why don't you just tell him that you could give him a detailed description of every spot on her body that makes her moan, gasp, sigh or spontaneously cum while you're at it. I so had a death wish.

He didn't look angry or curious, so that was good. Honestly he looked more amused than anything and I was really expecting 20 questions and then a bullet to the groin, but I got nothing of the sort. All I got was. "Well I'm happy for you. I hope it works out."

Keith Mars was happy for me? And he wanted things to work out for me? What the fuck…

I really almost told him then, I wanted to, I really did. But I couldn't, that was something that Veronica and I would have to do together. We would have to talk about it and decide on the right time or place to break the news.

Of course I was getting ahead of myself. I didn't even know yet what she'd wanted to talk about and I knew that a real relationship was probably still a long time coming, well at least I thought so. She'd seemed really happy, maybe the wait was finally over for us. But on the other side of that, she did ask me to play nice with him and telling him the truth was the same as playing nice, wasn't it? **And**, if she wasn't ready to go public, I couldn't help but think that getting him on my side would give me a leg up where she was concerned.

It was that thought that almost had me turning back to him and telling him everything, well almost everything, but the whole 'I'm in love with your daughter' thing would have been the prominent confession. But I didn't. Instead I just smiled and responded with a simple. "Thanks, so do I."

After that we headed into the house, but I was still distracted.

...

I shouldn't have gone in, I should have let Keith and Sacks go. I knew my mind was somewhere else but I didn't pay attention and just continued my trek through the house.

And then it happened.

I didn't see him or hear him.

I heard Keith yell my name…it just wasn't in time.

I felt the impact and the pain and I heard the gun shots and Keith's and Sacks' voices.

But I wasn't thinking about it, the only thing on my mind was Veronica and that last kiss.

And as everything went dark, I had one thought.

At least she kissed me before I died.

* * *

It's 1 year, 7 months, 1 day, 16 hours, 3 minutes and 7 seconds post 18th birthday when time just stops.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Review please!

A/N: Do not freak out. I repeat. Do. Not. Freak. Out.

There are still two chapters left.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (9/10)  
Rating: R for language  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise.

Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith, Sacks  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 2502  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: This story is now completely AU

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited! Ans once again thanks to Sweetpea2100 for her input!

* * *

I was worried. Beyond worried.

It was almost 2AM, he still hadn't come home and I hadn't heard from him. I was just sitting on his couch staring at the door waiting.

I started trying to think up reasons for him to be late. I'd seen him at 3 that's 11 hours. Was there a standoff, was he interrogating someone, did someone get hurt? That one made my heart hurt, what if it was him or my dad? I hadn't heard from him either.

I'd texted Lamb around midnight and hadn't received a reply. Oh my god.

No, no everything was fine. I just kept telling myself that over and over.

It was 3 o'clock before I heard the key in the door and I was off the couch, heart pounding in anticipation. When the door opened I was practically ready to launch myself at him. But I didn't, because it wasn't him that walked in the door and I stood there staring as I felt my world crashing down around me. "Dad?"

* * *

The minute the bat impacted I think my heart stopped.

Everything after that happened so fast that I don't remember much more then dropping to ground, pulling off my jacket and putting it under his head trying to stop the bleeding where the bat cracked his skull.

His eyes were barely open and I heard him say something, it was faint but recognizable. "Veronica." I think that was the moment my world shattered because two seconds later his eyes were closed and he was gone.

The only thing I could think was, 'please god let her forgive me.' Forgive me for keeping them apart and for not feeling guilty about it. For not stepping back and telling her that I wanted her to be happy when I finally realized that there was something between them and it was mutual. But most of all I was praying to god to forgive me for taking her from him, because now he'd never be with her and it was my fault.

When the EMTs showed up Sacks put his hand on my shoulder, it was still shaking from having to shoot Botando, and he motioned for me to move so the paramedics could do their job. I stood up numbly, still hating myself for what I'd done to them.

When I heard them say they had a pulse I almost dropped to my knees and prayed. For him. For her. For us. For everything to be ok.

Before I knew it I was outside and Sacks was shoving me into the ambulance with Lamb and we were on our way to the hospital. I was still praying and they were still trying to keep him alive long enough to get him to the hospital and into surgery.

It wasn't looking good and I was in a daze the whole way. Torturing myself the whole trip with memories of the way they used to look at each other, the way she used to run to him when she needed comfort, the way he treated her like the princess she was and how happy she had seemed lately, because of him. I'd had a feeling before but now I knew for sure, she was happy because if him. I was in my own personal guilt ridden hell.

I sat in the waiting room for hours hoping to hear something, anything, but no news came. And although this was one of those times where no news was good news, that still left me with nothing and a daughter at home with not even a clue that her whole life had been turned upside down.

Sacks joined me around 8PM, brought me food that I didn't eat, neither did he, and he just sat there with me.

The nurses had given me Don's personal effects, his phone, wallet and keys and I'd considered looking through his contacts for family before remembering that he didn't have any. **We** had been his family. That's what made the tears break through finally. I'd been so angry with him for no reason, it wasn't his fault, it was my choice to go after Jake Kane and all he did was try to keep me from making a mistake. But I didn't listen, not even for a second and instead of just upturning mine, Lianne and Veronica's lives, I upturned his too, taking the only real family, the only people who'd ever really loved him, away from him. God, what had I done?

When we still hadn't heard anything by 11PM I gave in and went through his wallet looking for his insurance information and anything that might help me to make plans. I was trying not to lose faith but I had to be realistic and I also knew that if I didn't do it, Veronica would, and I didn't want to put her through it.

There wasn't much in the wallet, a few credit cards, his driver's license and a few Java Hut punch cards. I thought that was it until I pulled out his insurance card and something else fell out.

I picked it up and unfolded it, my breath catching in my throat. There was a picture of him with Veronica on her 16th birthday, both of them smiling at the camera, their arms wrapped around each other. The picture was folded inside of a crumpled and worn note. The first three lines were unmistakably in Don's handwriting.

_I promise that this won't be the last time I kiss you._

_And I promise that someday we will have this again, just you and me._

_And I don't break my promises._

But the bottom line was all Veronica.

_You too Deputy._

I sat there staring at it for awhile and it actually made me smile a little. I'd been right, they had been seeing each other. Maybe not steadily, but they had.

That was the moment I promised myself that I'd step back and let them be together. If he made it, if she wanted to be with him, then I wouldn't get in the way.

When his phone beeped around midnight I left it alone. I was afraid of who it was from and what it would say. I didn't want to intrude on his privacy, or Veronica's for that matter, because I was pretty sure it was from her.

Sacks apparently didn't agree. He grabbed the phone and checked the message laughing a little. "Here."

He handed it to me with a smile on his face and I read the message.

_From Goldilocks: I'm here. Where R U? Worried n lonely. 3 V_

I laughed and looked over at Sacks. "So I take it this isn't a surprise to you?"

He shook his head. "There's a pool at the station. Has been for over three years."

Figures.

After 9 hours in surgery the doctor finally came out to talk to us. It was 2AM and I was tired and worried and scared and nothing the doctor said made me feel much better.

He'd died twice on the table but they got him back. He was in a coma, there was only a 10% chance of him waking up and even if he did, there was a 65% chance that he'd be permanently physically and/or cognitively impaired. Basically it didn't look good and they told us to notify family.

When Sacks looked at me with sympathy I lost it again. I sat for a few minutes trying to regaining my composure and then they let me in to see him.

I pulled a chair up to the bed and sat with him for awhile, not knowing what to do or say, so I said and did nothing.

By 2:30 I knew I needed to stop stalling. I got up, grabbed his hand and I said the only thing on my mind that I thought might make a difference at all. "She's yours now so don't you dare disappoint her. Or me. You have promises to keep Deputy."

I left the room, got into my car and headed to his apartment, dreading what was about to happen the whole way.

How do you tell the daughter you adore that the man she loves might not be coming back to her?

* * *

He smiled a little, his eyes were red and it looked like maybe he'd been crying.

No, no everything was fine. It was ok, everything was ok, I was jumping to conclusions, he'd just figured it out and he'd come over to retrieve me.

He finally responded to me. "Hi sweetheart." He walked towards me cautiously and I just stood there in shock.

"What are…..?" I couldn't get the words out.

"How long has this been going on, Veronica?"

I looked down, I felt ashamed, but I was mad that I felt that way because I didn't want to and I had no reason to, I love Don Lamb it's as simple as that. "Not long."

I looked back at him and he nodded. "I wondered when you two would finally give in."

My mouth dropped and he smiled. "You mean you….you knew?"

He laughed then, but it felt strained. "I'm not blind Veronica. I've known for years. The minute you hit 13 I prayed that you two could just hold out until you were 18. Hell, after Lilly died I was surprised you made it past 16. Although I'm sure part of that's my fault. I never meant for my personal feelings to get in the way of your happiness." I just stood there in shock listening to him. He knew? The whole time he knew? "I guess I thought it had been just a childhood crush on your part when you stopped spending time with him. But that wasn't it was it?"

I shook my head. "No, I thought….I guess I thought that I'd be betraying you."

He hung his head and when he looked at me again there were a few tears running down his cheeks and I felt my heart breaking. No, no this wasn't happening.

"Oh Veronica, I'm so sorry, if I'd known, if I'd realized it earlier, I would have told you. I wouldn't have gotten in the way."

I felt numb and sick and I could feel the walls closing in. No, no everything was fine. "I didn't tell you though. I hid it from you, I hid it from everybody. It's not your fault."

He wiped his eyes and stepped closer. "But that doesn't excuse it. Especially what I did to him. He's always loved you, you know. And I took you from him."

"I love him too dad." That was the minute that I saw my dad's heart break and I just lost it. "He's…..he's not…. he's not coming home is he?" And I started to cry, hard, chest heaving sobs. "No. No. No. No. No."

The next thing I knew my dad's arms were around me and he was pulling me down onto the couch. "Not tonight baby."

I looked back up at him through a cascade of tears. Had I heard that right? Tonight? He's not…. oh my god. "What?"

"Honey, he's not dead. But it's not good."

I stared at him and I didn't know whether to scream or cry or jump for joy. He was alive, but it wasn't good? I might still lose him? No, no this wasn't happening. "What happened?"

He gave me a play by play, telling me everything. The bat hit him in one of the worst spots it could and he hit the ground immediately. My dad said the last thing he said before closing his eyes was my name and that he thought Don was gone. When the EMTs arrived they found a faint pulse and rushed him to the hospital where they took him right into surgery. When he told me that he died twice on the table I burst into tears again and I didn't stop, not even when he told me that they got him back, because it gave me no comfort. He hadn't woken up and was in a coma, they didn't know if he would ever wake up.

It wasn't fair. We'd finally…he'd promised…he never broke his promises….he promised he wouldn't die.

My dad just held me as I cried not knowing what to say or do.

I was lost. It just wasn't fucking fair.

When I'd finally cried all that I could he dried my face and took me into Don's room helping me get into bed and he went back into the living room.

I didn't sleep though, the bed smelled like him, which made sense since it was his, but it made it hurt more and I ended up just lying there thinking of him. Thinking of the last time I was in that bed. Thinking of the last things we'd said to each other. He couldn't die, he couldn't leave me, I wouldn't let him.

I stared at the clock willing time to pass so I could go to the hospital and when it reached 8AM I jumped out of bed and ran to the shower. I'd get ready and go see him, he'd wake up and he'd be ok, that was all there was to it.

After drying myself off, I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I was a mess. But I ignored it, it didn't matter, he was all that mattered.

I was searching through the cabinet for an extra tooth brush when I knocked his cologne over on the counter. Some of it spilled, I got a whiff of it and I started to cry again. I fell to the floor sobbing and just laid there unable to move, breath, anything for what felt like forever before I finally found the strength to pull myself back up and dress myself. I was going to see him, needed to see him and when I did it would all be ok.

When I walked into the living room I found my dad sitting there waiting for me.

He gave me a small, nervous smile. "Ready?"

I nodded and then very suddenly started to cry again.

This wasn't happening; I was supposed to be with Don this morning. In his arms. In his bed. With him.

He was supposed to have come home and made love to me and just flat out **loved** me. Not get hit in the head with a baseball bat and almost die, maybe still die. Oh god, it wasn't fair.

I felt my dad's arms around me as I dropped to the floor thinking about the last moments I spent with him again. We didn't even get to talk and I had something to tell him…"Oh no, oh my god."

When I didn't continue, my dad turned me to face him. "Veronica?"

I took a deep breath. "I have something to tell you."

* * *

thanks for reading! Comment please!


	10. Chapter 10

Title: A Kiss Before Dying (10/10)  
Rating: R for language  
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise.

Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith, Sacks  
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14  
Word Count: 4750  
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase 'A Kiss Before Dying.'  
A/N: This is the final chapter of the story, this chapter is overly fluffy in parts. you've been forewarned.

thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorited this fic!

* * *

It's like they were on repeat in my brain. All the most important moments.

_("You can't do that to me. You can't die on me. You're not allowed to die on me."_

"_You either."_

"_I won't."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Of course.")_

_("Veronica, I promise you that someday someone will kiss you. And if they do or don't, I promise that __**I**__ will kiss you before you die.")_

_("I love you, Veronica Mars."_

_. "You too, deputy.")_

("Everything I do is about you, just remember that.")

_("What if I said that I wanted you?")_

("Whether it be 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day or week or month or year I'll take it Mars. I will take anything you are willing to give me.")

_( "I don't break my promises Mars; you should know that by now. And I don't intend to start anytime soon. This definitely won't be the last time I kiss you and I f I have anything to say about it. We are gonna have this, you and me, a lot more and for a very long time. You're mine Mars, you better get used to it."_

("Come over tonight? We can talk then?"

"Ok, I'll be there waiting for you."

"I knew I hadn't left that door unlocked."

"Be careful."

"I will."

"Hey, I love you."

"You too Deputy.")

For the longest time it was just on a loop. But soon there were new ones, ones I didn't remember.

"You can't leave me."

"Please come back to me."

"You promised you wouldn't die."

"You don't break your promises Deputy."

I think it's what brought me back.

No, I don't think. I know.

It was her, her voice, her body, her love.

She brought me back.

* * *

When I opened my eyes I felt hazy and groggy, my vision was blurry and I almost felt dizzy. I went to speak but there was something in my throat, it felt scratchy and uncomfortable. It was a long tube. When my vision cleared I looked around. Machines, white walls, antiseptic smell. Hospital. How long had I been here? Why was I here? What the fuck was going on? What… oh my god.

Veronica!

I shot straight up in bed and I must have knocked something loose because suddenly there were doctors and nurses in my room swarming me, poking me, running tests, all talking to me at once and answering only a few of my questions. And then suddenly they left me alone. It was by far one of the weirdest experiences of my life.

I laid back trying to understand it all. I'd been in a coma, they didn't say how long, but they did say why. Fucking Botando.

And they told me that despite the injury, it looked like I might make a full recovery, I might have some cognitive issues and maybe muscles seizures and tremors but that was it. To be honest I felt pretty damn good for having been hit in the back of the head by a baseball bat. A little sore and stiff but that was about it.

Of course that might have had something to do with the fact that all I could think about was Veronica. Did she know? Was she waiting for me at my house still? No, probably not, I was sure someone had told her. Of course I didn't even know how long I'd been in the coma, so for all I knew she'd given up on me completely. She wasn't there, no one was.

Fuck.

At least they took the fucking tube out. I tried to grab for the phone on the table to call her but my hand was shaking and I couldn't reach it. I pushed the blankets off of my legs and was about to try and move them so I could get out of the bed when a nurse walked in and smiled at me. "Oh honey, I wouldn't suggest that."

I stopped and stared a little, she seemed….friendly. Probably mid 40's, brown hair showing a little bit of gray, skinny but not too skinny, but over all she had a warm feel, a typical nurse, like I said friendly. I wasn't so sure how in the mood I was for friendly unless it came in the form of a 5'1", 100 pound, pixie blonde and even then, 'friendly' wasn't the term I would have used for my interest. "Why not?"

She walked over to me and threw the blankets back over my legs. "Well, you haven't moved them in awhile and you probably won't have a lot of control over your muscles for a few days, maybe more, you might even need physical therapy. Best not to move too fast."

I sat back begrudgingly and just watched her as she checked machines and just chatted away. She was already starting to get on my nerves and I was about to ask her to shut up and hand me the phone when something caught my eye. The white board on the wall with the nurse's name, Jeanie, yeah she looked like a Jeanie, doctor's name, paging numbers and the date. The date which in no possible way could be correct.

June 2nd 2007. What. The. Fuck.

I was pretty sure that the last time I was awake it was March 16th. Two and a half months. "I was asleep for two and a half months." I didn't realize I'd said it out loud until she looked up at me again.

"Yes, that's right. We were beginning to think that you'd never wake up. But that girlfriend of yours… she refused to let us think it. They tried to take you off life support twice and she raised hell, got court orders, hired lawyers, she knows some powerful people that girl. She's gonna be so upset she wasn't here when you woke up. She's always here."

Huh? She **must** have the wrong person. "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, tiny little blonde thing. Spunky, real mouth on her, but pretty as they come. Could be on the cover of a magazine that one. Vanessa, Victoria. Valerie?"

"Veronica?"

She smiled again and nodded. "Yeah, that's it. She's a keeper, you hold on to her."

Oh my god, I'm dead. Veronica's my girlfriend, she visits me all the time and she wouldn't let them unplug me. This must be heaven. Yep, I was dead. And fuck she was gonna kill me, I promised her I wouldn't die. And I know that didn't make much sense but she's my Veronica Mars, even if I was already dead she'd find a way to do it again. "You said she's here all the time?"

Jeanie laughed a little. "Everyday, all day and night usually. Hardly leaves your side. Sits there." She pointed to a table with 4 chairs. "Does her homework, reads, visits with your friends, her dad's here a lot too. They've all been so worried about you. Nothing like her, but still pretty worried."

Ok, maybe I'm not dead. Maybe I've just slipped into an alternate universe. "Who's they?"

"I think I've heard the names Wallace and Parker a few times and a computer girl."

"Mac?"

"Yeah, that's it and then of course there's the Deputy and Aaron Echolls' son."

Pretty sure my jaw hit the floor on that one. Echolls, visiting me? There was definitely something weird going on. Was I being Punk'd? I was definitely not in the mood for that.

I didn't realize she was still talking until she said Veronica's name. "…only leaves to go to class, though that's over for the year now I think. Showers here and everything. That dresser over there." She pointed again. "Full of clothes for both of you. She even sleeps here most of the time, just crawls right in bed with you. It's probably a good thing you woke up. That's gonna be hard for her soon. Couldn't be too comfortable now anyways."

Veronica has been sleeping in bed with me for two plus months and Keith hasn't unplugged me himself. Holy shit, that just lended to my alternate universe theory. I felt a hand on my arm all of a sudden and realized that Jeanie was taking blood. "So if she's always here, where is she now?"

She smiled again but this time it seemed almost sneaky. "She had a doctor's appointment this morning."

"What kind of doctor's appointment?"

She shrugged and I could tell she was lying when she said. "Not sure, she didn't say." Interesting. "But like I said, she's gonna be so upset when she gets here and you woke up while she was gone. She's been reading to you, talking to you and begging you to come back to her like crazy. I'm not even sure they thought to call her. She should be back soon though."

I just sat there in shock as she kept talking. Maybe I wasn't dreaming. She'd said she wanted to talk to me before the, um accident. Maybe she wanted to tell me she wanted to be with me. It sure felt like that was what she wanted. She'd been so receptive to me and so excited to see me and things had definitely been moving in that direction.

I was completely lost in thought until I heard Jeanie talk to someone else. "Oh, there you are honey."

I raised my eyes to the doorway and there she was. The most beautiful person to ever walk the earth. She was wearing a pair of worn jeans, a plain black tee and converses, but to me, she looked like a god damn supermodel. We made eye contact and kept it and I knew the smile on my face was probably the size of Texas. She was smiling too, but I could see tears in her eyes. She just stood there and I just sat there, not like I could do much else, and finally Jeanie realized it was time to scram. She walked up to Veronica, put her hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Well I'm gonna go, you two have a lot to talk about I'm sure. I'll close the door behind me. You won't have to worry about being bothered for a good couple of hours."

She breezed past her closing the door on her way out and winking at me while she did it.

Once she was gone I focused on Veronica again. She was breathing hard and looked like she might pass out any minute so I started small. "Hi."

She smiled. "Hi." She took a step towards me and her voice was strained when she spoke again. "You woke up. They didn't call me. When did you wake up?" She looked devastated, like she'd failed me or something. God, I just wanted to hold her so fucking bad.

"Um, three hours ago?"

I saw a tear fall. "I wasn't here. I'm always here. And I wasn't when you woke up. I wanted to be here when you woke up. I didn't want you to think that I wasn't here for you."

I smiled and laughed a little hoping that it would make her feel better. "Oh you have nothing to worry about Mars. Jeanie filled me in, said you've hardly left my side since I got here. "

She seemed to relax a little and I wanted to reach for her, but I held back. "Yeah, she's a talker that one, drove me crazy for the first month. She tried to kick me out of your bed every morning until Logan finally called in a few favors."

"So it's true that Logan and your friends have been here often?"

"Yep, my dad too. They've, we've all been so worried. They kept telling us you were gone, that you weren't coming back but I wouldn't listen. Couldn't listen. I knew you'd come back to me. You promised me."

I sighed and leaned back. "I did, didn't I?"

She took another step. "Yes, and you don't break your promises."

I couldn't take it anymore I needed to touch her, feel her. I reached my shaky right hand towards her. "C'mere."

She didn't hesitate. She rushed to the bed and grabbed my hand. I helped her get on as best I could but Jeanie had been right about my muscles, they definitely were not in good shape. But when she was finally lying next to me I pulled her into my arms and moved onto my side so we were lying face to face and I smiled before leaning in and kissing her. "God I've missed you. Does that even make sense? To miss someone while you are in a coma?"

She started crying and nodded. "Yes, it makes total sense. I've missed you too. Having you here in body just wasn't enough. I really thought you'd left me for awhile." I pulled her closer and kissed her again.

"No, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled and cuddled closer. "When you didn't come home I was so worried, I just sat there and waited. And then my dad showed up."

I moved some hair from her face and kissed her temple. "How'd he know you were there?"

She laughed. "He had your phone and keys, when you weren't home by midnight I texted you and he read it. He showed up around 3AM, told me what happened and held me as I cried for hours."

"So he knew?"

She nodded. "Yeah, said he had for years. Prayed we'd wait till I was 18 at least. He felt terrible that he'd kept us apart. He was so upset and worried, he cares about you a lot. Said he knew you'd always loved me and he hated that he took me from you. When I told him I loved you too I think I actually heard his heart break. He stayed at your place with me that night and brought me here the next day. I was a basket case for weeks. Couldn't sleep, could barely eat, I was scared to death. They had you on a day to day basis, said you could go at anytime. I almost withdrew from school but no one would let me, said they'd help me if I needed it. When you didn't wake up and you were on life support your insurance company tried to pull the plug on you twice. I freaked out, refused to let them do it, threatened to sue, but none of it worked. In the end Logan paid for a whole team of lawyers and got an injunction. I refused to give up faith that you'd wake up. No matter what."

I kissed her again not just a peck this time, a real kiss and her hand went to the back of my neck pulling me closer. As the kiss ended something came to me and I just blurted it out. "What had you wanted to talk to me that night?"

She blushed a little and I smiled again. God I loved it when she blushed. I ran my hand along her hip and she moved back a little. "Maybe we shouldn't push it, I'm sure that you've got a lot to adjust to as it is."

I laughed and shook my head. "Ok, but I'm not letting you off the hook Mars."

She closed her eyes when I said her name and sighed. "God, I've missed hearing that Deputy."

I moved a little and rested my head in the crook of her neck. "I've missed saying it. God, I love you. You know that, right? Do you know how much I love you?"

He face lit up and the tears came back. "Yeah, I really think I do and I love you too Deputy."

I kissed her long and slow this time sliding my hand up her side and grazing the side of her breast making her breath hitch. But when I moved my hand lower I felt her freeze a little and I remembered what the nurse said, doctor's appointment. She didn't say what kind. Was it something big? Was there something wrong with Veronica? Or was it one of 'those' doctor's appointments, if it was I could understand her reaction, she probably wasn't too keen on being touched. "Veronica?"

She looked up into my eyes. "Yeah?"

"The nurse said you had a doctor's appointment and that's why you weren't here. Is everything ok?"

She lay back onto her back and groaned. "God damn nosy nurse. Well there goes the waiting on the talk from that night. I wanted to wait a little while but since she knows and probably told everyone on the floor I might as well…"

I'd stopped listening when she'd laid on her back. It wouldn't be noticeable to many, only someone with intimate knowledge of her body would be able to tell and I was sure her size had something to do with it, being so small she was probably showing more that most would but it was there. A slight bump in her abdomen. Just a slight raise in her normally taut belly. She was still talking, but I was just staring and then before I could stop myself my hand was on her and rubbing the tiny mound. She stopped talking then. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and when I looked up at her she was crying. "It's yours."

I nodded. "I know." It never even crossed my mind that it might not be. I smiled and leaned in to kiss her and then down to her stomach to kiss our baby too.

I moved down a little on the bed so I could rest my head against her belly and just kept running my hand over it, mesmerized by the fact that it was my child in there. Our child. I had made a fucking baby with my Veronica Mars. Seriously the greatest day ever She laid there as I stroked her stomach and she ran her hands through my hair, I could tell she was being really careful of the permanent indentation I had at the back of my head and I looked up at her and smiled. "How far along are you?" I was pretty sure I knew. There was no way she was 5+ months pregnant so it had to be Valentine's Day but I wanted her to be able to tell me. It was a big thing and I knew that.

Her face lit up again and she wiped some tears from her eyes. "Three and a half months. I got pregnant on Valentine's Day."

I laughed. "Wow. That's crazy."

"Yeah, crazy is definitely what happens when you have sex 4 times without a condom."

I grinned at her and slid back up so that I was lying next to her again face to face, but I left my hand on her bump. "Is everything good? No problems or anything?"

She shook her head. "Everything's fine. The morning sickness sucks and I've started having crazy cravings already, my dad's not even getting annoyed with the late night trips to the store, and of course everyone else has been helping out too. But it's been hard without you. Not being able to share this with you. Luckily you haven't missed anything big. No ultrasounds or anything. Not for another 2 weeks so you woke up just in time."

I kissed her softly and pulled her close again. "So you found out that day huh?"

Veronica looked a little guilty. "No, um, a few days before. I think I spent two full days just crying. And another two angry as hell before I realized how happy I was. I was so excited to tell you when I realized how I actually felt that I couldn't wait anymore so I came to tell you."

I looked down a little. "Were you afraid of what I would say at all?"

"No." She was completely serious. "I was pretty positive you'd be thrilled. So I wasn't worried. I didn't get worried at all until I found out what happened and then it was more of the 'can I do this alone?' type of worry. I wouldn't have been alone of course but you know what I mean. I didn't want to do this without **you**."

I nodded. "Did you think about….?" I couldn't finish the question.

"Not once. I couldn't give up a part of you. If I lost you, this baby would have been all I had left and I wasn't willing to part with you in any way what so ever. And even before you got hurt it never crossed my mind."

I sighed a little in relief, she was happy and she really wanted to have this baby with me, this was good, this was really good. And then I started to laugh, she looked surprised for a second and then curious. "What?"

"You're telling me that we conceived our baby in a jail cell?"

She laughed out loud throwing her head back and I about died at the sight. My Veronica Mars was so fucking beautiful. "Yep, that would be correct."

"Typical."

"For us, yeah."

"It's definitely fitting. How did your dad take the news? Did you tell him his grandchild was made while you were in the clink?"

She laughed again. "Oh god no. I told him the day after you got hurt, I'd forgotten about it until then and he handled it really well, held me as I cried and he's gone to a lot of my appointments with me, he's already planning its Padres pitching career. He's convinced it's a boy."

I smiled. "Boy or girl I don't care, I made a baby with the woman I love, that's what matters."

And then the tears came again. "Fuck, I'm sorry, all these damn hormones."

"It's ok." I wiped a few of her tears away

"Well, so anyways, he totally figured out when it happened so I told him you got me pregnant in your office, on the desk."

I laughed again. "That is fucking amazing! The desk that was his and is probably his again? Let me guess, he ordered a new one the minute he got to the station."

Veronica laughed again. "Fuck, before, I'm pretty sure he was on the phone with staples while I was talking to your doctor that first day."

I laughed again and I cupped her cheek, when my hand started to shake she placed her own on top of it and the shaking stopped. I stared down at her belly, completely mesmorized by the fact that there was a tiny person in there and suddenly the only thing I could think about was getting her home and into bed and then something occurred to me. It had been over two months. What exactly was my living situation? And would it include her? God, I hoped so. "So what happens when I get out of here?"

She nuzzled against me trying to get closer and I held her tight. "Well, I've been staying here. We kept your apartment, but it's not big enough for all of us so I've had Mac and Wallace looking and they've found a few small houses. Logan has pretty much told me we don't have a choice and that he is buying us a house." I was shocked and I think she realized it. "Oh, god, I'm sorry this is all happening so fast. Am I rushing you? I don't mean to, it's just that I've had to make a lot of plans on my own and…"

"You want to live with me? You and our baby and me?"

"Yeah...if you'll have me."

"Fuck, you're never gonna get rid of me now Mars. Don't even bother trying."

She smiled and kissed me again. "Oh, I won't be trying at all."

"Good, so find us a house then and as soon as I'm out of here its domestic city for us baby." I ran my hand up her side, grazing the side of her breast again, but this time instead of shying away from my touch she shuddered and moaned and moved closer to me. I couldn't hide the smile on my face. "Feel good?"

She practically moaned her words. "You have no idea; I have been so fucking horny. Thank god you woke up now, I've been reading and apparently my sex drive is gonna be through the roof as I get further along."

I licked my lips and kissed her hard. All I could think about was 5 months of continual, no barriers, mind blowing sex with the goddess in my arms. "God, I can't wait till we get home."

She giggled a little. "Who says we have to wait till we get home."

Seriously the greatest sentence ever. I was about to slide my hand under her shirt when she sat up and moved. "Where do you think you are going?"

She turned back to me and smiled. "**I** am locking that door. They'll have to break it down to get to you because for the next few hours you are all mine."

And then she was off the bed locking the door and dropping clothes the whole way.

By the time she got back to the bed she was stark naked and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I laid back, let her undress me and thanked god or whatever deity there may be up there when she straddled me in the hospital bed and sunk herself down onto me, both of us letting out a couple of the most pleasured moans I'd ever heard.

I brought my arms around her and kissed her as she rocked her hips. "I love you Veronica Mars."

"You too Deputy."

* * *

I met her when she was 10 and I spent 7 years, 10 months, 24 days, 6 hours, 16 minutes and 2 seconds waiting to turn 18. And another, year, 9 months, 16 days, 11 hours, 45 minutes and 36 seconds waiting for her to be mine. 9 years, 8 months, 10 days, 18 hours, 1 minute and 38 seconds total, and I'd do it all over again if it meant I got to have Veronica Mars.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Comment please!

A/N: ok, so this is the end of this fic, but I've become so attached to these two in this universe that I've decided to continue their story. I have a follow up fic already written called 'Everything About Her' it's a series of one-shot that follow Lamb's POV during the months of Veronica's pregnancy. And then I will be continuing with one-shots. So look for the follow up fic next week! And I'm also working on an all new DoVe fic! Thanks again to everyone who commented on this fic!


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